Chapter Eight: Remorse

In my final moment of remorse and depression, I text Alice.

“I fucked up, I’m sorry. I’m done with life, just know, I love you.”

I drop the phone on the floor after the text is sent. I get dressed in my nicest clothes, black band shirt, blue jeans, and black leather jacket. I leave a note on my desk, for the entire world to see why I did what I’m about to do. The note itself isn’t anything special, just goodbyes and all the words left unsaid.

The phone vibrates on the ground. 1…2…3…4... it’s not a text, it must be a call. O well. I’m not in the mood to answer it. I get up from my desk chair and go to walk out. I turn the door knob but I hear my father enter the front door. I release the door knob. I decide to not go out that way. I couldn’t face him. He couldn’t live with himself if he saw me and didn’t know to stop me. Or I would walk by him and burst in tears. I’m not a crier but when it’s the end for people, most people cry, it’s only human.

I go to the window and jump out. I land on the wet soft grass. Light rain drops hit my face. It’s almost peaceful for me. I slowly walk all the way to the local bridge. I don’t know why I choose to be a jumper. Hanging was hard to do, because I didn’t have a beam or rope. Pills seemed like an easy way out but I had no access to them. Plus they aren’t always effective. I couldn’t shoot myself, only gun I had access to was my dad’s one. It was his old army gun, he loved it dearly. The horrible memory of me using it on myself would hurt him greatly. I couldn’t do that to him. At least my moral compass still works in some areas. I wanted to hurt people as least as possible. So I guess I was forced into jumping. I was forced by the lack of other ways out. But not just that, but also the lack of things to live for. The person I cared about wouldn’t be with me. It’s not her fault but I didn’t think I could survive life without her.

I arrive at the bridge. The moonlight hits the metal of it and it almost looks nice. It was nearly blissful. But reality comes back in frame and I know I’m doing the right thing. I step on the stone ledge. I stare at the dark and beautiful water. Seems like I’m staring into what my soul would now look like. I prepare to end it all. Memories and good times try to save me, but no, they can’t. I think of Alice in all her beauty and grace. Our memories together are strong but fail to save me either. Can anything save me?

Reviews

[Bailey C. Writing]

What imagery, with the moon hitting the bridge and the water being compared to his soul...beautifully morbid...

[Balls:)]

oh my gosh!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

[StarNinja]

This story of yours has a way of keeping me reading. Even though the chapters are so short, or maybe because they're so short, I find it so easy to dig into. Nice work. Keep on rocking.

[StarNinja]

*picks up megaphone and in a clearly bored and deadpan voice*
Charlie. Charlie. Step away from the ledge, Charlie. What you're doing will still hurt a lot of people, Charlie. It's okay. We can talk about this. Just think about this decision a little longer. I'd say a good half hour of thought would be plenty. If you jump now I'm out a hundred bucks. Don't throw something so precious away so easily, Charlie. A hundred bucks is a lot in this economy. You don't want me to lose a bet like that. Just a half hour is all I'm asking. Then you can do whatever you like. Charlie? Charlie wait.......
Well, there's goes my hundred bucks.

[CharlesMonroe]

Oh no ): he can't die!!!!!!! D: Alice! Save him! >:O

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Oh my goodness, a very dark spin on the plot, it's getting very exciting indeed Derek, well done, great read.