Brimstone and Spice

Snow brings out the oppressive scorn in me I'm guessing.

Why the poignant look?
You tore my sympathies
to
      p
          i
       e
            c
   e
            s
with your
diatribe rantings,
spinning my head
in circles with your hatred.
Eyes bitter with deceit
you soothe the senses,
just as the charmer to the snake,
purposeful in your
intent to betray. 
Was that the plan
from the beginning? 
It's not the smell of cinnamon
that haunts, but brimstone
from your hell
clawing its way
through the senses.
The road to indifference
has begun.
Out.
damn.
spot.

Author's Note

If it sucks, you can tell me.

Reviews

[Gomer LePoet]

I do not find it to be succulent in nature at all. I like the way you displayed the words "pieces", it added a visual to the context. The road to indifference is a one way road, that offers no reward when the journey is completed. Thanks for shairing

[Robin]

very strong writing , love the opening line , as it opens the flood gate of emotion through this piece

[Crowley]

You now damn well it doesn't suck...but modesty is called for sometimes when making our authors notes. If you came out and said this kicks a*s so boo on you.....that might meet with resistance. I love this, a little angry, a little bitter and really well placed. Great writing Girly Q. Specially loved the pieces and the last three words....very effective.

[The Perfectionist]

you entrance?

As has been said, it doesn't suck. The references are nice and the word choice is interesting and effective. Very powerful.

One thing I would suggest; drop the periods in the interm (you don't need them) and then use them to great effect in the end

Out.
Damn.
Spot.

[Jim Parson]

What is the opposite of "sucks"? Fury can be cathartic. Very forceful and passionately expressed.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I see and feel the rage in these words. The attempt to bring guilt to the heart of a sociopath. Much like pouring water into a sieve. I rarely write rage and anger myself because I don't do it so well.

But you have done it well

[writernubbin]

It doesn't suck! Wow...it's powerful and intense. Nice job in my opinion.

[OT]

it doesn't suck!! and just like in your bio - leaving a little message to show we were hear :p

great!! love the manipulation of the form on pieces - visual aid for the inner ear, reads fluid and smooth and well written!!

[Dream Weaver]

It's all good until I tried to read the word "pieces"
But definitely a clever write ;)