Let me return......

There is a terror in knowning life........

In pitch of night, near break of day, 

alone in mind, I was astray 

For what was home, now cinder ash, 

forever lost, a vapor flash  

And to the past, longing returned

to times of joy, before I learned

The truth of life, is one not fair

for in the world, famine of care

Let me return, to peace amore

sand of ocean, the golden shore

Innocent of, the woes of life

devoid of care, hardship and strife

Let me return, to days of yore

when love was fresh, and hope afore

The future bright, all I could see

horizons dawn, sublimity

Alas this is, the world I know

within the pain, in depths I groan 

Watching time's wave, now ebb and flow

its late in day, when shadows grow.

Author's Note

..................

Reviews

[Ms claws]

sorry . . . . . .I love your rhymes

[Ms claws]

"OH dear. the chaos and true emotion I feel spilling kumquats off your writing. Truly you combine the alphabetical appropo with the wonder of equilibrium and turn my f*****g world upside down!"

Yeah-yeah-yeah-yada-yada-yada all the pretend reviews from pretend people...BUWARFFFF.

HERE'S THE MORE CORRECT RHYME:

Alas this is, the world I know
I watch time's wave of ebb and flow
within the pain, in depths I groan
its late in day, when shadows moan..

THE GIG IS UP SO F**K ME NOW
CUZ IF YOU DON'T, YOUR PAGE I'LL PLOW.

[Dave W.]

That was a really good poem, you are really talented.

[Ms claws]

Sorry. When I hear my writing site is managed by bots and about to go under, it makes me really angry. I think you are a bot. Your "reviewers" are bots. I just want a cool place to write.

[Dave W.]

I cant tell you what to think, Im not a bot but you dont have to believe me.

[RomaJ]

You've crafted a really effective poem here. The controlled, rhyming couplets (AABB rhyme scheme) and strict meter create a wonderful sense of stability, which sharply contrasts with the theme of chaos and loss. This contrast makes the emotional content feel contained and intense. A striking piece on innocence and experience.

[Dave W.]

Thankyou kindly, I like freeverse but a friend challenged me to write with more structure.

[emmajoygreen]

A sad poem, Dave, sincerely written, carefully laid and yet.. with a hope that briefly peeps from your 'ebb and flow ' There'll come a time when the tide will wipe away at least some of your tears, Dave. You have the strength to look forward, my friend. I sense it's what you pray for and want, little by little by little.

[Dave W.]

hello Emma, I hope things have been well, this was my atempt at metered writing. I actually have been happier. Thankyou for the kind reveiw.