I Guessed Right

I have never shared this hurt with anyone before...

                I remember when my cousins were staying with us. I don’t remember how old I was, but I do remember they were staying with us for a while. I might have been around eleven when they were staying with us…too many bad memories when I was eleven, but I am not going to get into that.

                I remember this one day that I was sitting in my room with my cousins and my sisters. My cousin was being very mean to me when he lived with me. I don’t remember how old he is now because I don’t see him. I think he is in his twenties now. I remember that I had started crying my eyes out.

                My cousin had told me he didn’t like me and in my mind I had that thought. I was crying most of the night. My sister trying to tell me that he didn’t mean it, but I know he did mean it. I didn’t know which hurt more…the fact that I was right or the fact that he didn’t like me…I don’t know if my cousin even remembers this.

                Well anyways we had a lot more fights. I remember I had to switch out my bed for my aunt one night. I was sharing the living room with my cousins. I was sleeping in the sofa bed with my cousin. And her brother was sleeping on the couch. I couldn’t fall asleep that night. I guess I had a lot of thoughts on my mind.

                Then I was able to go back into my room. And I gave both of my cousins a kiss on the cheek. My guy cousin woke up and told me never to give him a kiss on the cheek again. I was crying in my room again because I thought he didn’t love me again…I had guessed right…but last time I saw him…he did give me a hug…but I think he was hiding the fact that I was right…I took care of his daughter that night…from then on I knew he didn’t love me…and I guessed right…though I think he did tell me he loved me the day we saw each other…

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[Leanne Conway]

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