Dear ____________

Second half of This Must Stop. It's through your eyes...just picture you writing the letter to your best friend.

 Dear __________________ (Insert Girl’s Name Here),

                It’s been exactly one year since I lost you and it kills me every day to know you are gone. You were my best friend and always will be. I didn’t want to lose you. I never meant to change to be something I’m not. I just wanted to be popular. I wanted to fit in with everyone just like you did. Before the rumor spread about you…you were happy and bubbly. Everyone loved you…but they changed just because a lie was spread.

                I really want to know who spread that rumor about you. Who was the one that hurt you? I can’t fathom who would want to hurt you that bad. I’m starting to think it was the girls on my cheer leading team. They still talk bad about you even though you were lost. Lately I’ve been getting into fights with those girls. I’ve been punching them in the face and fighting. I am getting suspended in your honor.

                I really want to know why you did this to everyone. A lot of people feel guilty for what happened. They all thought that this was innocent fun, but they didn’t think of the deadly consequences. I never joined in on them calling you baby killer. I would try to defend you the best I could while you were alive. I never thought of the consequences of leaving you alone.

                I should have never left you in your time of need. I blame myself for not being there…for only hanging out with you on weekdays after school for a couple of hours. In school I would just leave you and let others do what they wanted. Why did I do that? I didn’t really think of anything. I just thought they would get over the rumor, but they didn’t. They just let it continue to manifest until it killed you. I thought people would have dropped the rumor. Start talking to you again.

                I didn’t think it would escalate to that point. I saw people distance themselves from you and snicker about you. I would just ignore everything. Why didn’t I just try to stop this? I have cried many tears because I still blame myself. After hearing everything that has happened to you I know I have messed up.

                The girl that told me your story seems to have been there for you.  She cared about you too because she was crying when she told me. She explained that she needed her best friend which was me. She was there because she understood what you were going through. The rumors that spread about you couldn’t ever compare to what happened to her, but she felt bad that you were losing people. She was going to be friends with you.

                I should have known not to abandon you. The girl that helped you through everything explained that to me. Telling me I should have stuck up for you while you were alive. I shied away because I wanted to be popular. I didn’t see any differences within you. I mean I did notice that you would only wear long sleeves wherever you went. I didn’t think you were hurting yourself, but I was told otherwise. The girl said, “I tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen to me. The stress of the situation was what caused her down fall. She started to hurt herself because she thought the pain would stop if she hurt herself. She didn’t really understand that the pain wouldn’t stop if she hurt herself.”

                I agree with her now that I think about it because the pain wouldn’t have stopped. It would have continued if people found out about that. Why didn’t I realize this earlier? You do know I loved you…but you left me. I lost the best person that had been in my life. I wish you were still here dwelling on this Earth with me. I wish you weren’t in the grave. The grave you created when you killed yourself. I didn’t know what depression felt like, but now I do.

                I have been depressed because I lost someone so important to me. Your smile is what got me through the day. Your laughter, your bubbly attitude is what inspired me to be the person I used to be. It is starting to change. I have been crying all the time, lost in my own thoughts, fighting with people I don’t know, and most importantly I have been molding myself into a better person. I am starting to sit with people that I didn’t. I’m not picking on people anymore.

                I also have started a group that ends bullying. That is in your honor because you were lost at a young age from this. I just hope everything stops and changes. I need help with this, but I will get the help. I will help try to stop victims from committing suicide. That is my new goal in life. I hope your story helps with this. People will learn and they will hopefully stop.

                I love and miss you.

Love,

          _____________

^

(Insert Your Name There)

Author's Note

This is after a year of losing your best friend from This Must Stop. Contemplation....and thinking on my part..but it's going to fit with your mind as well.

Reviews

[Jvl narasimharao]

I think a great tribute to the best friend. may be real or imaginary.
yours JVL

[SamBug]

Wow this is really sad. I almost felt like crying here. It was really well written though. Great job!

[Brittany W]

So sad, and tragic, i could really feel the pain of losing a friend, fabulous work.

[watch_the_world]

I like it but its really sad.. good work xD

[Alicia Hirshey]

This is amazing angie. It shows a lot of self reflection and what you have learned and how far you have come.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Angie, this is such a thought provoking read, and shows how much self reflection and analysis you yourself have done. I'm sure she'll be proud of you just as much as you are of her. Great work!