MNL-Chapter 10

Sorry for not updating yesterday. I will try to add chapter 11 today too. :) Alex has some fun with Aubrey. Just kidding. xD

Chapter 10

Tomorrow I go back to school. I really wish I didn’t have to go back. I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with Jonathan or the “wicked witch of the waste”. I should make up a name for Jonathan. I think I may nickname him the slum queen. Sometimes Jonathan really did act like a little girl anyways.

I was still thinking about Carson today. He has been on my mind all day because yesterday was his third month anniversary. I miss him so much, but I really wanted to try to get him out of my mind. It is still painful thinking about him.

I ignored everyone yesterday. I had ten text messages from Nicole, two from Jess, six from Becky, I had one from Jonathan, and I had one from Alex. I was pretty surprised that he sent me one. I wonder if he was worried about me. I knew that all of my friends were because I didn’t respond to them yesterday. They probably all forgot that it was Carson’s anniversary. We had family day on his anniversary. I never told Alex about my brother.

My friends were sending me texts about hanging out today. I was really not in the mood to hang out with anyone. Jonathan sent me a text telling me that he wanted to talk. I still really don’t want to talk to him. I have nothing to say to him. I thought we nailed that into his brain already. Alex sent me a text saying, “I hope you’re doing well. Do you want to hang out tomorrow?”

I still didn’t respond to anyone’s texts. I feel that I need to be alone today. I am still grieving since it’s only been three months. It is hard to get over something like this anyways. My friends really don’t understand what I’m going through. They will never understand unless they lose someone close to them. I would never wish that on them. I don’t want them to go through the same pain that I am.

As I was walking around I had two things on my mind; my older brother and Alex. I really don’t understand why Alex was on my mind. I guess it was because he sent me a text. I really didn’t expect him to ask me to hang out.

I felt my phone go off in pocket and checked to see who was messaging me. It was from Alex. I could feel my cheeks getting red. The kiss was starting to enter into my mind again. “I see you…I’m at the park as well. Do you want to hang out for a couple of hours? I didn’t receive an answer yesterday.”

“Sure, where are you?”

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and I almost started screaming. I realized that it was just Alex. He stuck his tongue out at me. “I’m right here. Are you alright? Your face is all red. Are you getting sick, Aubrey?”

“N-No, I’m not getting sick. I’m alright. I promise.”

“Good, do you want to hang out under that tree,” he asked me pointing towards a huge oak tree. I just nodded because I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I was just feeling depressed. I always felt depressed after my brother’s anniversary. It might have only been a few months, but he was one of the people I was able to count on. He made me smile when I was down. I loved my brother. He was my best friend.

Alex was being pretty quiet himself. I wonder what he was thinking about. I looked into his dark eyes. I could actually tell that something was troubling him. There was pain deep within his eyes. I wonder what was going on with him. He was normally cold with other people, but it seems like he isn’t cold towards me. I started to wonder why that is.

“Hey Alex, I’m sorry for not responding yesterday. It was just a pretty bad day.”

“That doesn’t sound good. What happened?”

“Well yesterday was the three month anniversary of my brother’s death. He committed suicide. I miss him so much. He was one of my best friends. I know that most people don’t think of their siblings as friends, but I do. He honestly listened to what I had to say. Mason is one of my best friends too and he listens to me as well. He is having the hardest time accepting my brother’s death. He and Mason were really close too. I don’t like the way things worked out either. I cry every time that I think about him. I think about him a lot, but I tend not to cry in school,” I responded with tears starting to form in my eyes.

“I’m really sorry that has happened to you. I don’t know how it feels to lose a sibling. I don’t have one so I can’t comprehend what you are going through. It’s a very hard time for your family. I can see why you’re upset. Mason is younger than you so he will have a harder time accepting his death. He probably feels betrayed since your brother decided to take his own life. Your whole family probably feels that way. I never expected to hear that your brother committed suicide. That must be hard,” Alex responded. His voice sounded a lot tenderer than it usually did.

“It is extremely hard. The thing was that I found him that day. It was really hard seeing him that way. I found my brother’s suicide note, but I didn’t read it until my mother handed it to me. He wanted all of us to read it. It was really painful to read. I felt horrible that he was suffering, but we weren’t able to help them,” I responded. I was trying hard not to cry. I didn’t want to cry in front of Alex. I would feel weak if I was crying in front of him. He was a strong person.

“Don’t hold it in. I can tell you’re about to cry so go ahead and cry,” Alex said while pulling me close to him. I could feel his heart beating inside of his chest. I started blushing since I was in his arms again. I let the tears fall down my face. He rubbed my back like Carson used to when I was upset. Carson would kiss my forehead and tell me that it was alright. Alex rocked back and forth a little bit. Somehow that soothed me until I felt tired. I tried to stay awake, but all of a sudden darkness surrounded me.

I woke up a couple of hours later in Alex’s arms and he had a huge smile on his face.

“Did you have a nice nap,” he asked while smiling.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!”

“It’s alright you don’t have to apologize.”

I relaxed a little bit more and we laid back into the grass. “You know what I miss, Alex?”

“What?”

“When my brother and I got into arguments we used to wrestle. It would be a lot fun, but eventually he would pin me. He’d always win our wrestling matches. I didn’t really mind unless he kept me pinned for hours. Sometimes he would get lazy. Mason pins me every once in a while, but that’s pay back for when I would pin him. He used to steal my diary all the time when we were younger.”

“It seems like it would be fun have a brother or sister. I would probably do the same thing to my sister,” Alex said while sitting up.

“Are you about to go home, Alex?”

“Not yet, I want to have a little bit of fun first,” he said while smiling evilly. Before I knew it Alex was kneeling over me. I started to blush a little bit. He sat on me and pinned my hands above my head after a couple minutes. After a few seconds Alex started laughing. My brother’s laughed when they sat on me too. I don’t understand why it’s so funny. I just let Alex enjoy himself. ”You’re actually pretty comfy.”

“Thank you,” I responded.

“I’ve never had a sister to pin down before. I figured why not and besides I’m a little bit older than you. You can think of me as an older brother if you really want to. I don’t mind,” Alex said and smiled.

“Are you kidding? That would make me really happy. Wait what are you going to do? Pin me every chance you get?”

“Exactly, I’m going to pin you every chance I get,” he said while laughing. I should have known this was going to be a long day.

After about an hour he let me up. I guess he was pretty comfortable. We talked about Carson a little bit. We told each other some things about ourselves. I had a pretty great time talking to him. “I have to get going, Alex. My parents will be worried. I’ll see you tomorrow. You really made my day! Thank you so much!”

After that I ran off and Alex waved goodbye to me. I was going to enjoy having Alex as a friend. He really was acting like a big brother. I didn’t mind having someone cute pin me anyways. Did I really just think that?

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