Away

I miss you

You’re far and I need you

There’s nothing I can do to be near you

My heart sinks

 

I want you

Your tender smile and loving kiss

I tried smiling the pain away

Yet I cry

 

I love you

You’ll always be loved

By someone in the distance

I’ll come home

Author's Note

Guess who’s homesick? :p

Not my best so tear it apart. Murder it! NOW!

Reviews

[Dream Weaver]

I thought this was straight and to the point.
Heartrending and poignant....

[ChristianM]

BANG!
That was a gunshot.
Lol just kidding.
It was sweet and it lifted my spirits.
We have to keep love alive, and you're
helping the cause with this beautiful poem.

[The Perfectionist]

You know, I can't remember the last time I reviewed something cause I wanted to and not because someone had asked me to.

Despite your fears, this actually isn't that bad. Well, let me rephrase. Three quarters of this isn't that bad. The first three stanzas are short, cute, and sweet. They flow well and work just fine.

Then there's this last...thing. The others are all direct, this one is vague. The others all explain themselves, this one is unclear at best. It doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem and it doesn't end it well. I would suggest just removing the damn thing if you don't feel like totally rewording it.