A Hundred Times

A sad love poem

A hundred times, I have looked at the moon.

A hundred times, I have felt loneliness.

A hundred times, I have swooned.

A hundred times, I have felt stillness.

I will not stop thinking of the one that is dear to me.

 

A hundred times, I felt her warmth.

A hundred times, I felt her soul.

A hundred times, I felt her breath.

A hundred times, I felt her pull.

I will not stop feeling you are here with me.

 

A hundred times, I have known right from wrong.

A hundred times, I have known that I was going to fall.

A hundred times, I have known words so strong.

A hundred times, I have known I should have made the call.

I will not stop drinking all alone that is plain to see.

 

And all my friends come in green.

Author's Note

It's amazing how much alcohol is packaged in green bottles.
I have done some editing, thanks to me for noticing.

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

So is the character in love with a woman or a bottle?

[eatmills]

He's in love with a woman but screwed up the relationship and now he's a drunk because of all the mistakes he's made.

[Kaylor Mason]

Ah

[Mockingbird]

it's a sad message that the person couldn't beat the habit as though she wasn't worth it. it's a vicious circle. now that his love is gone he will drink even more.

[MOON]

This sounds lovely. I like the repeating of the lines and the last line grabs you .

[Priscilla Sayers]

he he he.. A rough night, or super FUN night.
The poem, the poem, it had sorrow and despair floating atop the green liquid of the season, and 'tis the season... bottoms up!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I love the imagery and repition, a great piece, well done, good read.

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

This visual appeal of this piece is beyond stunning, the I felt, I have, I have known is glorious!

I can feel a lot in something as symmetrical as this...

[S. D. Blankenship writi..]

Eatmills~
Your poem, "A Hundred Times" seems to be a great vent. However, being a writer that I am, I feel strongish to advise you to add more plot-- rather than just using the phrase, "A hundred times, I have known".
For one thing I found Style and Word Choice needs some going over. (Writing style, and Vocabulary use are lacking skills in this piece that I feel you can put more effort into. )
Also, your Grammar needs some more thought. It seems to me you are Comparing two or more things, with-out explaining those two things.
And lastly, your Sentence structure needs help.
(I.g. instead of saying " have known" try using "knew" or "understand".)
I hope my review has been helpful. :)

P.S. Be sure you read my writings, and also if you like adult writings, please check-out, S. D. Blankenship.

{Ulisigi Wa Ya}