My Footsteps Echo

Response to a challenge to use ten words

MY FOOTSTEPS ECHO

I stand, hiding in the shadows

breathing slowly, I await my prize

My flat black robe with hood and belt

My face a mask, my hand on scythe

Her figure strolls the shadowed street

Drunkenly approaching my lair

I step out, calmly strike my pose

I savor the moonlit wet air

I stand before her, a promise

That precious moment that I crave

Her mouth a rictus of surprise 

Her thoughts of situation grave

The moment stretches to action

No digging, no dragging, no chase 

Wild eyes dart for cover or escape

Just a clean sweep of scythe through space

In her I see your sneering face

A powerful joyous revulsion

throat-ripping, primal, panicked screaming

Victim to a deadly compulsion

I study your bloody corpse

I turn my back, consider the tally

Moon sparkling in a pool of blood

My slow footsteps echo up the alley

Reviews

[Helen Crutchett]

You naughty poet papaed! You must post this to our contest so people can see it! It's too good to miss reviews on! Thank you for a wonderful read!

Here's the link....it closes tomorrow, so be quick! (the 10th my date, you might have a bit longer)

http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/HELENA%27S-TEN-WORDS-POETRY-CONTEXT/51140/

[papaed]

I thought I did post it to the contest. I'll try again.

[Helen Crutchett]

Oh, good! Thanks dear poet!

[L_]

Gripping piece, exceptional use of italics to emphasise words.

[Sami Khalil]

"Victim to a deadly compulsion

I study your bloody corpse
I turn my back, consider the tally"

An outstanding and gripping write. You are talented, sir...:)........

[Lord of the Kings]

nice and very deep. for its meaning one needs to go through it. I liked it very much and not enough expert to give any critical comment on this.

[King O'5ive]

damn! daarrrk!
this piece gave me goosebumps,
I love your talent ..thanks for sharing

[Ovi-Odiete]

You have a gift!!!
I love your ink.. ..

[Chris]

a good and visceral aftertaste...

[Gerry Legister]

This is chilling, dark and has a taste for blood and deadly corpse, it's a good write and a brave effort

[Great Aunt Astri]

Oh what inspiration one can get from 10 words! I would love to know what those ten words were!
Structurally I think you have done a very good job. And the rhyming is not at all stilted. Good read.

[papaed]

The ten words are in italics. The words brought a dark vision to me. Thank you for reading and commenting.

[Jesse]

Hahaha, thrilling and exciting write. Well done.

[Josh Ames]

This was great! I read it twice!!