A certain kind of logic

I imitate mirrored corners to understand

the movement of speech.  Vowels

taste like grapes and oranges; they

rot before I break the skin with my

satin-white teeth.

 

I've stubbed my toe on consonants

at least once each time I dance on the burned

crust of the sun and if I

could, I'd cup my hand to the moon's lips

and exhale my heart into its damp and stoic core.

Reviews

[AndyJCash]

I find myself agreeing with other comments. The imagery is fantastic and a little bit fantasy like which is personally something I really enjoy, but I think you need to help the reader by telling rather than showing so much. I do like the part about the vowels and the fruit particularly though, it's a really strong image.

[Aehr]

well written.. flows very nicely and i personally loved it!

[dukovan]

I feel like the concept of the piece IS surrealism, you've theoretically proved that with the use of similes and comparisons that everything in essence is symbiotic, once filtered and arranged through our imaginations. So....anything IS possible. A certain kind of logic....I like that.

[eglantine]

da-DA! You got it :)

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

thankfully I didn't read this review before my other explanation above..that would have been cheating, ha

[dukovan]

yep reading it for about the fourth time and you observations made this piece even more clear.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

glad I could help, mostly everything of value requires many readings..ur insight was pretty on point and helpful to me as well

[Whales]

I don't know about everyone else, but I adore this whole piece and every part of it. I'm not saying it's a masterpiece but when it comes to what everyone is saying, this poem is perfect just the way it is. the more visual the better. The fact that It's a a challenge to figure out what it means to probably everyone, gives it a certain uniqueness to you. That's what poetry is all about. Writing what means something to you even if it makes absolutely no sense to anyone else, just read my stuff! some of my work is pooped up, probably because i'm actually insane. but anyway this is all well and good and yadda yadda yadda good poopin job yo.

[allie_arrowz]

i really liked the imagery. you're so good at making powerful images. but the subject just doesn't really make you *feel* anything.

[That_Girl]

'constanents' should be 'consonants' if you are talking about all the lettes besides vowels.

Great imagery... mature thoughts... well done!

[eglantine]

haha, woops, thanks!

[That_Girl]

:) no problem!

[Distant horizons]

Love the elegance of the imagery you portray here in your words, each line is so vivid. Great piece.

[w]

Interesting read. It flows very nicely, but there is something I don't care for. I don't know if it is the surrealism or what, but I am just one man so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

I really liked the imagery here, although it may seem a little too surreal. I remembered Rimbaud thoughts about vowels. Beautiful end.