Z-axis

all the fingers on the hand

are talking nonsensical

 

about puppets and whales

and whether i really is before e,

     except if you're seaweed

     because then you're just

                 wet.

 

they talk and jibber--

and doodles drop from

my washed-up eyes like beads

of liquid mercury:    hazel pearls.

 

Can you sense the rain?

      it's just a flip of the page--

      the sky's mottled fin.

 

let's gather mason jars and catch

the falling water before the whales

stop singing.

 

i'm tired of listening to my hands

gesticulating nonsense and mermaid

teeth are so much easier to swallow than pills.

Reviews

[Kim]

What a stunningly gorgeous piece of work! I absolutely love the style and your wordplay is fantastic. I especially like the title - it really grabbed my attention - and your images are so unique and unexpected. The mention of mermaid teeth is genius and it really makes the final sentence a home run. The spacing and flow is well done (especially the isolation of "stop singing") and I wouldn't change anything. I'm sorry that I don't have anything to critique - I simply adore the poem as is and it's one of the best things I've read all day. I can't wait to read your other work!

[eglantine]

aw well thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts on it.

[Harry Alston]

Terrifically random and yet so linked. Great way of writing. Love the details and imagery.

[eglantine]

Thank ya very much Harry

[Harry Alston]

Quite alright :)

[CatOfOrion]

Even if the range of imagery is wide and there seems to be no connection, I do sense one and looking deeper I even touched it.
I really love poems like this, I love how far fetched yet closely intertwined everything is. This really was enjoyable to read.

[eglantine]

Glad you were able to touch it :) thanks for reading

[G!o]

This is totally elegant from the first line to the last. This is a talent, you are the mistress of your art. Wow, flawless.

[eglantine]

:) aw thanks!

[Bell-lala]

Wow, this was really unique. Well done :) This seriously made me smile It was so cutely written.

[eglantine]

glad it made you smile

[Kenneth The Poet]

I like this. The title caught my eye, as I am a nerd for nature's language. Then I read something completely unexpected. Quite the lovely write.

[eglantine]

thanks!

[Hidden Happiness]

Couldn't help but smile while i read this ...what a beautiful fantasy:-).

[eglantine]

haha thank you!

[tamsin]

I started reading this, and I got confused and was about to click away, when your words drew me in. I just had to read, even though I didn't really understand, you made the conjuction of words really beautiful, and almost addictive.
What's it all about though...lol...: D

[eglantine]

haha glad they grabbed your interest.

[tamsin]

Yep, and it held me : D

[Pól]

I like the way the mystery of this unfolds- love the imagery re sensing the rain (thats summit I'm good at incidentally, may be conncted to the fact I fly-fish or that N. Ireland is the super-power of rain) and catching it in jars. The whale reference, I interpreted as a warning re conservation? This depicts the essential beauty of the natural world, and how important it is to preserve what we have. I actually do catch rain in huge buckets for use in my garden, so loved those lines

[eglantine]

haha nice! I love that detail about your actual life--your rain-watering your garden. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Steven]

Mermaid teeth ARE so much easier to swallow than pills. They mean so much less! And just now someone who really needs a few of the latter is walking by my apartment, which incidentally is over a yoga studio (that means NOTHING) shouting profane lines from a rap tune pecking into his head through two foam pods. Um, but I like this piece, yes.

[eglantine]

interesting? lol thanks for reading

[Mark]

I would keep the jars close to my bed and drink from them when I couldn't sleep :)

Nice nonsense. I enjoyed reading it and urge you on towards degrees and recognition. I am now a fan.

[eglantine]

thank you :) Yes, if you read my bio I do plan on earning my PhD in poetry some day and teaching at universities.