Satellite Fruit

I live within the cold petals

of the moon, far from the swollen green-blue

fruit that hangs from the blackest

branch where shiny insects gather like mold.

 

Pluto was demoted from an icy

planet to just a far-away

rock and stars are named without

their consent.  For some, the pressure

is too great and so they break

from the sky, plummet and burn--

               a thin scar.

 

The moon doesn't see this.  She only has

to worry about spinning around that slowly

rotting fruit and to return light to the sun.

Author's Note

Not my best...

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

interesting, loved the use of all those colours in the first stanza, and the scientific theme developed from the second stanza was great :)

[Patrick]

i read it with tired eyes but knew there was something about it worth reading again and i was right. I think the statement about stars being named without consent is a profound one but then so is the sun - which is a star - we have named :) love it

[~Beautiful Dreamer~]

i think it really good godd jobb

[Mars Samuel]

I read it through twice, and now that it's sitting firmly in my head, I'm enjoying picking it apart. The second time around, I understood the imagery better, but it was still fantastic the first time around. The fact that it painted such a vivid image the first time just added to it as I understood what the symbols represented. My favorite part is the middle because it seems to me that's where the most thought is needed. It takes more effort to pick it apart, which means it will stick with me for a while longer.
Best or not, it is way past cool!

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

define "best".
I superimposed a hand;
you should re-read it
not with the knowledge,
but the superimposed hand
it's as good as anything I've read
but maybe I'm biased by the hand
hell we live on a piece of rotting fruit
I think we are all biased

ok, I've (facetiously) dismantled your author's note
I think i can continue

I think it's brilliant how you've created a puzzle
via your position in this poem
it's an interesting puzzle to say the least

Had I not lost my mind and burned nine/12 ticks today
i would definitely say more