Genus

mythology

We wandered the green grass
for one-hundred-twenty days
with nothing but soft fruit
and the tall music of trees
to feast on. I lounged at your feet,

but you did not
like this and
shifted out my knees.

It was dark sometimes
but we hardly noticed,
fawning the sun,

kneeling in water to make
our bodies closer
to the lily, built-closer

than we thought
they could become. Look back.
I never knew you

had power to consume the days.
Remembering how we
moved through the breeze

way, that at once
we had laughed. Now I
think of it - I didn't

know that there were
any days at all.
Following your ease,

my heart stippling
the dome above us,
what had been darkening
becoming entirely
the dark noise of flight.

Author's Note

2015

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

this was a stunning narrative. it is a love story, although not really one that's completely happy. we see two travellers 'wandering the green grass for one-hundred-twenty days' (what a start to a story!) and we are assume they are trying to reach somewhere. in each other, they might have found strength, perseverence, and courage, but their relationship is complicated: I lounged at your feet, but you did not like this' it's quite a heartbreaking twist: the reader hoped that there would be some consolidation for the characters, but that's denied to us in a very subtle way. it's a fierce dramatic moment.
and i loved this bit: 'I never knew you [break] had power to consume the days.' before the line cuts, we are wondering why She never knew Him, and we suspect that this was not a match made in heaven. but as we read on to the next stanza to the second part of this sentence, we learn there is actually admiration of Him. there is some spark between them, a very deep connection, one that's not unbreakable but still sturdy. and its this connection that leaves the reader hope as we reach the final stanza - as the night descends on them, we still believe they will survive.
there is a lot of tension in this work, but it never becomes too bleak. facing the darkness, there is still a speck of a reason to have faith - and that's enough.

[Eilis]

Hi, Ern. I do enjoy your explications of my poems. I see things differently through these interpretations. I sort of feel like tension defines my writings in some way. The poem was really an exploration of a feeling for me. The idea of relationships and how well we can know another and also how well we can know ourselves. Being enchanted by someone can blind us to the truth. I think we can deliberately miss signs in those moments. Or obscure the truth from ourselves hoping the truth will change. I still like this poem after all this time. I don’t feel that way about many of my poems. I wrote this in about ten minutes at the height of my writing flurry. Hard to imagine that now. Thanks for your thoughtful response.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

sometimes the quick draws hit the target. this was a bullet to my heart. it was complex and dynamic -i read it again, i really like it.

[Eilis]

Thanks, Ern. I’m glad you liked this one.

[Einstein Noodle]

your title really makes your poem, says i! my imagination runs wild with species morphing within the boundaries of your lines and Vs .. i think the personifications are creative and unique .. well done .. thanks for sharing .. i am most assuredly saddened in your closing .... "the dark noise of flight" .. wow! :)
E.

[Eilis]

Hi, E. Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed the poem and the ending resonated however sadly. I appreciate you reading.

[barleygirl]

I started out reading "A Short History of Failure" (which I loved) & then I read your reviews before reading your poem. My overall assessment -- that these two poems can hit people in a variety of ways! For me, this poem of yours harkens to the way humans try to pin stuff down so that life appeals to their sense of order, their need for control. My least favorite concept -- "looking for a reason that stuff happens"! Who the f**k cares? The reason that I see when I'm 20 is very different than the reason for the very same thing that I see when I'm 50. And it changes a dozen times between 20 & 50. That is, if a person allows fluidity in the way life is perceived. Of course you have those who follow a script & refuse to deviate. An example of that for me is how many "conservatives" buy into the warped BS that's being passed off as "conservatism" just becuz they need to stick to their dogma, even if it's been corrupted by an interloper! Anyhow, life requires evolving scrutiny & comprehension, which usually doesn't happen when people adhere to dogmas. In your poem I get the feeling of two people trying to pin down the meaning of "whatever" but it drifts & floats & bobs just out of each other's mutual understanding. Both poems are remarkably provocative! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Eilis]

Margie, I just love this review. I keep reading it over and trying to think how to respond, but I don’t want to say a lot because I really like what you said and want to think about it more.

What you say about fluidity and willingness to change perspective is so insightful. I do try to be open and allow myself to be impacted by new ideas. But I wasn’t always that way. So I really relate to your ideas.

Thank you for such a meaningful and engaged comment. I really appreciate the way you interact with a poem. Hugs from me to you. Thank you!

[barleygirl]

I was a rigid opinionated b***h, in the tradition of most hillbillies! I had to work hard to open up to fluidity! *wink! wink!*

[kentuck14]

I read below that this poem came from reading a novel about Eve. So I will go from there.

Eve looks back to the end of the beginning . . . the loss, the regret, the corrupted relationships . . . the coming apart and yet the attempt to return to paradise through human effort. "Consuming the days" . . . another way of saying how man became self-destructive . . . and the realization of coming death ("I didn't know that there were any days at all.") What else can one do in the light of guilt but to attempt escape into the darkness of night and learn to love it . . . except we very seldom have the power to completely deceive ourselves.

This reminds me of a poem I had published years ago: "A Short History of Failure." I might post it as a bookend to this fine poem.
T

[Eilis]

I hope you will post that poem, Tom. I’d love to read it. I love your analysis of the poem. This one is pretty mysterious to me. I wrote it in a moment of fury and am still trying to get at its heart. Your comment about self-deception is excellent.

I was also reading a book called Death Before the Fall at the time and I think those two intermixed in my mind to create something mystifying.

I’m always grateful for you reviews, Tom. Thanks for stopping by.

[kentuck14]

E,
Well . . . now that I have your urging I will put my poem online. Glad You appreciated my take.
T

[Eilis]

Great, I’ll look forward to reading!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I see the mythology in this as the trials of gods as they struggle for recognition and in the shadow I see an allegory of a relationship perhaps that is somewhat one sided? As always though a well written and engaging piece.

[Eilis]

Hi, John. Hope you had a nice holiday. I wrote the poem after reading a novel based on the biblical Eve. Just sparked my imagination. I did want a sense of alienation like you mentioned, so I’m glad that came through.

Always appreciate your comments, thanks!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Holiday on a gulet in Croatia was amazing! Thanks.

[R.E. Ray]

The "soft fruit" and "music of trees" can perhaps distract us from what's truly happening. We're consumed in the sweetness and harmony of some relationships, not noticing the darkening skies, the distance that grows as he/she quickens the pace, and creates more distance. As I finished this poem, I saw a woman standing alone in stand of shady oaks, low storm clouds overhead, waiting for the rain to wash away her tears and his tracks, too. Another original work, Eilis.

[Eilis]

I always enjoy what you see in a poem, RE. You look closely. I appreciate your careful readings. read moreI always enjoy what you see in a poem, RE. You look closely. I appreciate your careful readings.

I was reading a book called Infinity in the Palm of Her Hand several years ago that kind of fleshed out the story of Eve. This poem came to me after reading. I never feel I’m very good at love or romantic poetry, just not my thing I guess, but something struck me then. Glad to see that the dynamic I was imagining came through.

Appreciate you stopping by again. Thanks!

[R.E. Ray]

Good to read, and I certainly will.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Simply great!
The title caught my attention and the message never make me walk away without having a good reading through its crafted lines.

Well penned, Eilis.

[Eilis]

Thanks, Kay. Glad you liked it.