Metamorphosis
A Chapter by Eilis
The mirror holds up the wall, child. It is not
what you see, but what I tell you that is real. I will hold you
like a ladybird in high summer: all red and spotted-black, facing the silver lake I have used
to mount the wall. I will hold you as a ladybird: with one thumb
binding the splitting hollow of your wings, and the other soused with spit, raised in summon to the sky. So I can know
how the wind will move. So I can catch the current, keep it still in my pockets. Keep it
green as your feet after mowing
© 2026 Eilis
Author's Note
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2016
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Featured Review
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This strikes deep into the heart from the first line and just keeps striking. To treat a child like that, to make the child question her or his own perception of things, to control everything has the power to unravel such an innocent soul. The effects last into adulthood and undermine development. It makes us question who we are and everything about us. And we are left just asking. Your prose is diabolical here in presenting that species of mind control. I read the closing part of this as a commentary on the ill mind of the controller, perhaps another question about how or why the controller has acted so. On the other hand, perhaps it is just my own personal interpretation, stemming from my experience in being raised by someone who was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. After all these years, I still question everything about myself. I hope you are doing better than that. You strike me as a survivor.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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1 Year Ago
It is similar for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like my own person as such. The voices and .. read moreIt is similar for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like my own person as such. The voices and undermining of personhood shape everything I see and feel. The self is filtered through so many externals. Sorry you understand this, but also glad it is perceptible. I appreciate you reading and sharing your ideas and understanding.
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Reviews
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i am mesmerised by each of your works and also impressed by how every one is so unique. this story about a child becoming self-aware - the silver lake, is a great expression - but being socialised, or maybe indoctrinated by a caregiver to see specific things is a dangerous for of love.
the psychologist Lacan described "the mirror stage" where children become aware of mirrrs and how they work and that this is a sign of a key moment in their mental development. this poem works on this concept and flirts with existential and epistemological ideas revoling the question "who am i?"
the persona of the mother is a very interesting one. Sartre called love "a form of violence" that love is used to change people's behaviours, deprive them of freedom. it's a very cynical take, but one can't deny there is some truth to it. absolute freedom anyway is a bad idea.
the ladybird was a very nice touch. it is not obvious what it is a metaphor of - or if it even is a metaphor to begin with - but i doesn't matter. it adds a character and dimnsion to this work that makes it memorable. it's delicate body and desie to take flight really capture the mind's eye.
an interesting, delicate piece full of some grand ideas that are adressed in a most subtle fashion.
Posted 11 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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11 Months Ago
Thank you, Ern. This poem feels somewhat emotionally distant to me now. What you say about Sartre an.. read moreThank you, Ern. This poem feels somewhat emotionally distant to me now. What you say about Sartre and love is really the heart of the poem though I think. For me as a child love and violence were synonymous. I was taught that love was earned. But I was never good enough to earn it. The ladybird represents the vulnerability of the child—the red and black marks the marks of abuse. I didn’t understand I was abused until I was an adult with my own children so when I was working through these memories in my poetry I see there’s this kind of whimsy or fairy tale quality. I still don’t fully understand my story. It’s not easy to understand the story of who we are even when the circumstances are beautiful. You just sort of peel back the layers but by bit. I sometimes don’t understand my poems myself. I always appreciate your insightful responses and the connections you share. I learn from these things. Thanks again
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This strikes deep into the heart from the first line and just keeps striking. To treat a child like that, to make the child question her or his own perception of things, to control everything has the power to unravel such an innocent soul. The effects last into adulthood and undermine development. It makes us question who we are and everything about us. And we are left just asking. Your prose is diabolical here in presenting that species of mind control. I read the closing part of this as a commentary on the ill mind of the controller, perhaps another question about how or why the controller has acted so. On the other hand, perhaps it is just my own personal interpretation, stemming from my experience in being raised by someone who was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. After all these years, I still question everything about myself. I hope you are doing better than that. You strike me as a survivor.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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1 Year Ago
It is similar for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like my own person as such. The voices and .. read moreIt is similar for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like my own person as such. The voices and undermining of personhood shape everything I see and feel. The self is filtered through so many externals. Sorry you understand this, but also glad it is perceptible. I appreciate you reading and sharing your ideas and understanding.
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We do believe our ears more than our eyes, if a lie repeated 10 times becomes some ones truth. ( sensational journalism is one for example) How one in authority can influence inexperienced and innocent with sheer power of possession! Your poem took me to so many places, Ellis. Especially thiis couplet " it is not what you see, but what I tell you is real... " sorta gives chills! All the command in that statement conjures a mesmerizing figure. Absolutely brilliant!
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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6 Years Ago
Thanks so much, Mrudula, for the wisdom of your response. I hadn’t thought of the larger context, .. read moreThanks so much, Mrudula, for the wisdom of your response. I hadn’t thought of the larger context, but you are so right. I was trying to capture the alienation of a child whose whole view of the world is shaped my someone who has less than honorable ways of seeing the power of responsibility. Among other things. It’s a bit of a subconscious poem for me, so there’s still a tinge of the mystery.
I always appreciate the insights you share. Thanks for your visit!
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6 Years Ago
You are most welcome, Ellis. Your wonderful writings always unfold beautiful reflections.
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6 Years Ago
You’re very kind.
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what a wonderful maleficent fairytale, the wicked witch telling the child they are like a ladybird then trapping flight in the pockets, once again there is a dark sinister vibe emanating from the poem, keep up the good work,
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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6 Years Ago
Yep, the sinister vibe comes a bit too easy sometimes.
Cheers, Gram. Thanks for the .. read moreYep, the sinister vibe comes a bit too easy sometimes.
Cheers, Gram. Thanks for the read.
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'Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.' ― Aristotle.
Beautifully written lines; your use of our language is exquisite here.
Beccy.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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6 Years Ago
Thanks so much, Beccy. I love the Aristotle quote. Appreciate you reading.
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this one is very hypnotic in its flow Eilis I feel this one more than intellectualize it Im just gonna go out on a limb and call this a painting of emotion about the boundaries of perception well at least that what I feel from this with a bit of an underline of strife to it the mirror is about the reflection of the holder and not the reflection of the object captured within it this is very clever and next level sort of writing... I like it
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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6 Years Ago
The feeling was the thing with this one, for sure, Robert, so I love your comment on that.This one i.. read moreThe feeling was the thing with this one, for sure, Robert, so I love your comment on that.This one is a bit of a mystery to me still. But, I always picture a sort of fairy tale scenario when I think about it. Like Snow White being duped by her stepmother. Innocence vs the corrupted soul, or what have you. Innocence being malleable and wanting to believe or be approved of. Corruption understands that and uses it to its advantage.
I always appreciate your readings. I can tell you read to understand. I am grateful to have such attentive readers of my poems. Makes them seem like an effort worth making. Thanks for your visit this morning, BB.
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6 Years Ago
this was a very interesting expression
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Eilis, I certainly read a transformation here, the ability to see from a different perspective. But, I'm still processing the depth. So many images and references here I still need to connect. The "green" seems to speak to the "child's" naivety, his/her present inability to see the world as the narrator, perhaps in a twisted sense shaped by trauma. I look forward to reading other interpretations of this one.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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6 Years Ago
The metamorphosis of the title represents the way a child’s view of the world can be reshaped. Itâ.. read moreThe metamorphosis of the title represents the way a child’s view of the world can be reshaped. It’s a weird poem, I know. I was really interested to see how it seemed outside my head.
It’s about manipulation and abuse. Just trying to, again, create a sense of feeling and place. The world being too big to pin down and a power dynamic that shapes everything.
Thanks for reading, RE. I appreciate the thought you put into your readings and comments.
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62 Views
8 Reviews
Added on October 8, 2019
Last Updated on January 6, 2026
Author
Eilis
About
Remember what it is
to see and not care
who sees you seeing more..
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