Hours like moths

Ritual is: 3am rising; the creak 

of stairs and denial of coffee. Ritual 

is: aching for sun to disappear, 

 catching the hours in my palms 

like moths and watching them circle 

the old-light of memory. Grief is not 

only a condition of death. Some times 

the funeral is a ritual moving daily 

through the body. The worn coat 

of ritual memories slipping off and on 

and on and on like the ritual 

of the wound -pocked moon -waning

Author's Note

2021

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

painful and very relatable ... love the metaphor and personification work in this .. i can feel your speaker's heart and soul in it .. well done says i! great title ... moths and hours will fly right into the fire and light to be consumed ... they have no choice. loss and grieving so easily leads into depression "....aching
for sun to disappear," if you have suffered a recent loss, Ellis, my heart is with you .. its not easy to loose our loved ones. be well and stay safe
E.

[Eilis]

Thank you for your compassionate response, E. Your thoughts are meaningful and appreciated. I hope you are well there. Be well and stay safe, too.

[Chris Shaw]

My sister's husband died a week ago Eilis, after contracting covid while in hospital. You describe here the rituals of grief. It sounds as though you too may have lost someone dear to you, or otherwise you are remembering a loss and churning those rituals over in your mind. I felt the ebb and flow of the waves of grief here. The pain receding, then numbness, to be replaced by a mighty surge and the rawness of the full crash. The time certainly goes slowly in those early hours before dawn while the memories flicker through the mind. There is relatable pain here. Take care and keep safe and well in these challenging times.

Chris

[Eilis]

I’m so sorry for your family’s loss, Chris. It seems we are stuck in this awful vortex and some days it appears it will go on forever. Grief is, indeed, a familiar feeling just now. The changes loss brings bring such difficult feelings and they do seem never ending sometimes. I hope the rest of your family manages to stay safe and healthy. I hope for a return to normalcy (at least in some sense) arrives soon. My thoughts are with you and your family in this difficult time when the virus impacts even the ways we are permitted to grieve the lost. Thank you for your understanding comment, Chris. Take care there.

[Beano]

A thought provoking and emotive piece Eilis. The litany of ritual and routine lends structure, but they can also act as tyrants of the conscious.

[Eilis]

Thank you, Jamie, for your kind and insightful comment. I appreciate you reading.