CLICK, CLICK, CLICK

For the hunter that doesn't know when to stop hunting!

 

 

Click, Click, Click

Went the sound of my weapon; it came from my spent and useless gun
No more angry bullets left to fight with, nothing left; and no where left to run
I remember when I took it all for granted; firing off shots all those years
Never ever had any problems; I had no worries, no hurts, or inner fears
Whenever I saw a woman; I focused, I aimed, and then fired
I reveled in all of her screams, as I kept firing for hours until she expired
I was always an extraordinary hunter and women were my only game
I hunted hundreds down for my pleasure; never caring about their hurt or pain
See I was always looking for a new victim, somewhere to fire off my loaded gun
A nice tight little target of flesh, a bull’s eye for the bullets to come

 

But like all foolish hunters I refused to put my weapon away
I chose and shot at the wrong target; now I am a victim to my prey
A lion in sheep’s clothing; I mistook her for a sweet little deer
She pounced on me without any mercy; she took all that I had without fear
Devouring me as I lay there moaning; she laughed when I screamed into the night
Growling and ravaging without falter, I lost bullet after bullet in our fight
Mercifully she gave me a moment; I lay there expended and blissfully forgone
Sipping a cupful of water; trickling raindrops before the ferocious storm
This hunter has made me her victim; I have fallen and become her prey
I have unwisely spent all my bullets, and this huntress will now have her way

 

Click, Click, Click
Went the sound of my weapon, I have nothing left to give in this fight
So I lay here in her forest of passion, being devoured in the fading moonlight

 

© 2012 Eddie Phillips

 

 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is a wonderful metaphor, Eddie...reminds me of an old Ricky Nelson tune..."poor little fool"

the guy in the song was like this...and then, it came back at him as he had done to the girls in his life...

what goes around comes around..we need to be careful where and how we shoot.

jacob

[Eddie Phillips]

Thank Jacob! I agree we need to be careful where we shoot. It will catch up to you one day...LOL Thanks for reading.

[Tom]

A sterling, imaginative write, good rhyming and flow, sounds like the hunter eventually bit off more than he could chew, although he seems to be perishing rather more exquisitely than he perhaps deserves!

[Dye]

I absolutely the metaphor used here, the ending was great.

[Eddie Phillips]

Thank you. I am so glad you enjoyed this poem and the story it presented.

[J. Kell]

Very clever write Eddie. You did a great job setting this one up for the ending. I agree with Jacob below your use of metaphor is superb in this piece.

[Eddie Phillips]

Thank you. I sat on this poem for a bit because it was a little different then what I usually write but the story was great so I decided to share it.

[Sami Khalil]

A very dramatic and interesting write. I enjoyed the read . Thank you for sharing...:)

[Eddie Phillips]

Thank you for taking the time to read this poem.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[KaylasPoetryBook]

This was so suspenseful! Love the twist at the end, great piece (:

[Eddie Phillips]

Thanks Kayla I sat on this poem for a while after writing it. I decided to post it because I thought the story was alluring. The screenwriter in me comes out in my poetry sometimes. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

[poetdoug]

Click Click Click.
I love how you tied in the title to the climatic ending. Very dramatic, and gives a great moral with it also along with the drama and passion. Great job my friend. Click Click Click!

[Eddie Phillips]

I always tell people I am a screenwriter that plays at being a poet. LOL This poem has drama and a story. Thanks for reading and giving a comment.

[Sirius King]

Wow.........love this man!

[Eddie Phillips]

Thanks this was a karma poem. I think it works well.

[Sirius King]

yes it did, great work

[A. H. Pinley]

Now the shoe is on the other foot. The other foot has dropped. You made your bed, now sleep in it. Nice work my friend!

[Eddie Phillips]

That is exactly what my wife got from the poem also. I think it ends well. Thanks for reading it and getting the message inside the poem.