Cement

My own experiences. (Trigger warning.)

Cement

It is filling my lungs as I sit on a leather couch and let my throat bleed all the razors that rested in the flesh. Met with the bored eyes of an over-paid woman who lets her pen scribble the same words over and over again, prescribing me pills spiked with poison. I explain that I’m scared as boys promise to love me then leave bruises carefully on the bones that jut from my skin. With an instant snap, she explains that I must forget it, erase all the indents he left in my brain, dissolve all the sickening memories of suffocating while my face was shoved into a pillow to mute my screams. For two whole years, my cheeks were permanently streaked with canals built for tears. Shakily I tell her that my dreams are racked with nightmares and when I wake up, all my veins are tangled and I am not solid. I want to scream or I might just take a whole bottle of pills and follow up with a bottle of vodka. I am not okay. I am not okay. F**k, just make it go away.  I want to tell her that I have built up my armor prepared for a war, but the heavy weight of impenetrable metal has weighed me down to my knees and my demons are no longer using blades, they are dumping acid on my skin. I growl to the skies that I am not weak, that I can hold on to my sanity. But God does not throw lightning bolts to dead beings that have no more room for energy when the darkness finally swallows their existence.

 

Author's Note

Comments?

Reviews

[Chris]

You really have a way with words.
It's really well written, like your other pieces.
Excellent job!

Darkness looks as if colorless to most,
Though its depths are painted in every thought.
Sit with me around this fire,
We eat demons and ghosts. :)

[Andy Lewis]

Such pain....very nice expression!
I almost feel the sharpness of the words. Its well written thanks for sharing

[MethandCats]

Thank you so much!