Struggling with Thy Self

This is me, words that needed to be said.

Thoughts leave my mouth so carelessly

Feeling the knot in my stomache

I am stumbling with reality

Blinded with the color red

Oozing over my face

Bees and wasps pouring from every crevice of my body

STOP!

Six days to lose control

No recollection of time until the shade was pulled back

Worrying begins

My soul fighting through the murkiness

Reaching for the sun

Limbs outstretched

Do you see me?

 

Author's Note

I only write when I moved by something I have done or felt. This is just spoken word. I am very insecure in ways that I cant explain, and I end up making an utter fool of myself. I am growing and sometimes it is just little steps. I was told I needed to write more. So here is me, bare and vunerable.

Reviews

[Dani California]

ELii... this is raw.
Your creative expression is
incredible.

"No recollection of time until the shade was pulled back

Worrying begins

My soul fighting through the murkiness

Reaching for the sun

Limbs outstretched

Do you see me?


I am fascinated by the visual you've painted.
It's brilliant.

Thoughts that spill... embarrassment.. retracing words...

Indefinite darkness... timeless..... awareness.... light.... hope.... far away...... reaching......

Wow. You're amazing.

[pal]

A very good poem. Short and brief.
Pal,h

[theperfectfit]

You captured this perfectly. I could almost feel it myself, especially when you mentioned the bees and wasps! Lovely, very raw and honest.

[Ladysue]

This was a phenomenal write. I agree with Dani, your creative expression is incredible. I enjoyed this read. An amazing write.

[pal]

An introspection of the self- trauma, indecisiveness and helplessness- nicely brought out. Living is really no problem at all. But the thinking aimlessly is the culprit saps ones energy.

pal

[Wildecat]

Hate to see anyone struggle with themselves, but most of us go through it at one time or another. Nice write.

[Nicholas Hallows]

You know I hate to see you struggling with yourself.
But you express it well and you manage to turn it around
to make it something positive as it leads to personal awareness and growth.
The images of bees and wasps from your body emphasise the stinging raw
emotions you feel and give your struggle epic (almost biblical) proportions -
also the use of the archaic second person possessive pronoun (laughing at myself)
adds to this effect.
I am glad you decided to pick up your pen and express yourself.
143 x

[Legion]

Very expressive. As a pig, I can see in the muck. So yes, I can see you. :) Good write. Very dramatic as well. Love it.

[Brette Medb]

This is an interesting way to express ones flaws, and fears. You used vivid imagery and drew the reader into your words with such precision and clarity. If writing helps you grow then write on!

Brette

[An owl on the moon]

You have an amazing way to capture emotion with your words, expressing anxiety and pain so vividly. Powerful words my friend...