The Bride and Groom Kiss

The after wedding ceremony scene put in a poem. I just came from one, see? :)

Oh, how happy! The day, at last came!
How delightful, exciting, dreamy,
How long have I waited for it,
No time for me to get weary!

Eyes meeting, eyes setting,
eyes never letting go,
Holding his hand out for me,
Oh! See my heart grow!

Tinkling, the sounds I hear,
The guests holding their glasses out,
Are they waiting for the kiss?
That's it, there is no doubt.

I smile in amusement,
I smile with affection,
We do what we must, what's expected,
And it was without rejection.

Author's Note

I wrote it with the Bride's point of view. That way, I could make her giggle :))

Reviews

[Rogue]

This is very sweet. You have definitely captured the mood of a wedding day Bride. :)

I question the word "Tingling" as you go into it is the sound I hear and the raising of glasses by the guests. Should this be "Tinkling" in that context?

A lovely read.

[Monster ^.^]

Now that's it! Tinkling! I knew there was something wrong in that context! Thank you very much! :)

[seath]

gentle and vivid imagery...the sound devices that you had employed augments the formation of the mood of verses

[Monster ^.^]

Thanks :)

[Marie]

Very nice.

[Monster ^.^]

Thank you

[critic h]

nicely carved out
perfectly penned down

the bliss of a bride before literally the best yet actually the worst momemt of her life

[Monster ^.^]

Thank you for the kind words :)

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

Quite mellow and joyful...
I wrote something quite the opposite
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/AdamLebzo/1110540/

[Monster ^.^]

Really? Lemme check that out :)

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

I'll be honored

[junaid altaf]

its fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

[Monster ^.^]

Thank you very much :)

[Sami Khalil]

Nice poem . I like the ending the most...:)

[Monster ^.^]

Thank you sir, :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[angelina neves]

lovely!

[Monster ^.^]

Thank you :)

[KAOlmsted]

A couple of grammatical hiccups but a relatively good write. I like that you wrote it from the bride's POV...having been one, I can tell you, you pretty much nailed it. Good job.

[Monster ^.^]

What could these hiccups be, so that I may improve them , if you would, please :)

[KAOlmsted]

Sure ;-) I would use "get weary" in place of "go weary"; and "the guests holding their glasses out" instead of "glass"; also, you wrote in two different tenses, past and present. Nothing major, JS. And you know what? I doubt anyone else would even notice *laugh* but I am a natural born editor ;-) Thanks for sharing your work with us.

[Monster ^.^]

Indeed! I knew my weakness was with the tenses! That had always been my problem since I started writing :D I was also rather confused with the "glass", now I know I chose wrong :3, but the go weary was something I could learn from :)

Thank you very much, I'm glad you read this :), If you would, I'd like to revise my work according to your help :) but not pretty sure how to make do with the tenses :)

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure, always glad to help. I am writing a novel in which the POV is first person present tense, so I only use past tense when my main character is thinking about something in the past...otherwise, everything happens in the present. Just look out for the words that denote things that came to pass and put them in the present, if that is the tense you want. Unfortunately, time does not allow me to edit all of your work *laugh* but I'll give you a fair review on the pieces I read.

-kimmer

[Monster ^.^]

Thank you very much :)

[AWickedMoon]

Cute little poem. :)

[Monster ^.^]

Why, thanks! I just came from a wedding ceremony, and it was almost like this :)

[AWickedMoon]

Thats great! :)