The Enemy

This came to me while I was doing laundry. I think my muse likes to attack me at extremely random moments. Also, back to rhyme I go :P

Traitorous lips catch on thorns of a rose,

Misleading petals, crimson exposed.

Traitorous tongue twists into a snarl,

Cheek reflect mindset, unkempt morale.

Traitorous fingers reach out to collide,

Trembling and anxious, humanity hides.

Escape from the seed on wavering legs,

For the traitorous heart never ceases to beg.

Author's Note

Sometimes, I never know what I'm writing about until it's over. Often, those are my favourite forms of writing, the ones that surprise even the writer after the words reveal themselves.
I seem to like short pieces, I haven't written anything long in ages. Perhaps I'll expand on this, what do you think?
Also, I felt 'snarl' and 'morale' seemed a little weak. Any feedback would be wonderful, thank you :)

Reviews

[James Harding]

Awesome! I Really enjoyed just reading it without even looking for a meaning. And i actually like the snarl and morale rhymes, its quirky and works. Lots of good imagery and the reiteration of the word traitorous makes it even more powerful and hard hitting. :)

[FallenHeroXx]

Powerful

[EvianneSpeaks]

I love how powerful and strong your diction is. Magnificent piece.

[Dionysus Cain]

pretty cool, pretty neat!

[Coyote Poetry]

The traitorous desire leave us wishing and wanting. I like this poem. You style and usage of words create a poem that is a pleasure to be able to read. I like the complete poem. A very good ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Tate Morgan]

LOL you do look deep .Me I don't look so deep I watch the surface and ride the waves

[Gareth James]

hadnt finished but posted anyway ... my bad ... just wanted to finish by saying, i lked the imagery.

[Gareth James]

there's a lot of repetition with the word traitorous which seems a little offputting. maybe the first and third time its ok, but the second time is a little weak.

[The Perfect Stranger]

beautifully done. so short yet so deep.
great job.

xoxo

[Brittany W]

short, but it said a lot, very creative.