Shadows

 

Like shadows walk we through a listless life:

We rouse and rise as morning claims the sky,

And wander aimlessly through streets of strife

’Til we once more in solemn slumber lie.

Like spirits waft we through the silent crowds,

Our senses shut to ev'rything around,

Swathed in our swarthy funerary shrouds,

Masked by the mist of longing to be found.

Like whispers swirl we in the passing wind,

Unheard but slightly by a passing few,

In constant wonder whether we have sinned,

In constant prayer for aid to start anew.

Like shadows walk we but a fleeting while

In search of happiness, in want to smile.

-EDP

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Well written. I read Shadows out loud, it read well and had the drumbeat of a sonnet. Didn't sound stilted at all, so well done. Not easy to do.

Chris

[emipoemi]

Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it.

[Chris Shaw]

I did, thank you.

[H L Rose]

Beautiful as always and I really like the last line.

I like your word choice with claim" and "listless" in the first two lines and then the alliteration in "listless life" was great as well.

I like how you pare " wonder aimlessly" and "streets of strife" together in the third line. The two ideas seem to contradict, but in context with the poem, they don't.

I thought line 6 "Our senses shut to everything around" was interesting and provoking. It really makes you consider the point of the poem on a deeper note.

Lines 7 and 8 sounded beautiful to me, and "longing to be found" once again gives the poem more depth.

I like the repetition of "passing" in lines 9 and 10.

To me personally, lines 11 and 12 really conveyed a restlessness in living in fear of guilt and lack of assurance in life after this seemingly meaningless life.

As I said before, the last line I found really interesting. It seems to change the tone a bit from the rest of the poem which I thought was interesting.

I much enjoyed reading this!

[emipoemi]

and I much enjoyed reading your comments. Thank you!

[Richard🖌]

So very true, Dear Poet,
So many live and move like shadows through their nights and days, wandering around in wants, desires, dreams, needs, fantasies of deepest emotion, and spiritual hunger from dark to light and back again, searching for their real substance of identity … I love your choices of metaphor in this perfectly rhymed, rhythmed, syntaxed example of spot-on iambic pentameter.
You've treated us to a most excellent English Sonnet, as well-penned as any I've e'er had the privilege to enjoy.

My warmest brotherly hug of thanks to thee for the pleasure of sharing your finely honed skills … brightest blessings! ⁓ Richard


Time and desire allowing, here's a little Sonnet of my own you might enjoy in recompense. : )
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1805226/

[emipoemi]

Thank you so much for your comments/review!! It really means a lot! Glad you enjoyed it.

read moreThank you so much for your comments/review!! It really means a lot! Glad you enjoyed it.

(however, a little bothered and bewildered am I still at the aspect that people are still confusing me for a lady.......can't seem to figure out why.....)

[Richard🖌]

You are most welcome, Dear Poetess.
Oops!
Your "read more" did not come through.
I added an invite, too.

[emipoemi]

.......yeah.....so I see.......some glitch perhaps. But it concerned you calling me a "poetess" for such am I not, and a tad bothered and bewildered am I still that people take me for a lady.

But not too big a matter, but I just need to clarify that.

[Richard🖌]

LOL!
So much for assumptives … mia culpa, Dear Fellow-Poet.
I Shall adjust my review accordingly. 😊

[H L Rose]

Soooo @emipoemi, you might be really offended by this and I sincerely apologize, but at first for a while I thought you were a "poetess" as well... but we can all laugh about it now right?.....:)