Numb

I look out the window, feeling numb, cold, and tired. My eyes are softened and blurred by tears. I sit in the rocking chair; looking into the emptiness of the world beyond this room. I feel dead inside. But I can’t be dead. My heart is beating, my brain is working, and air fills my lungs. I rather be dead. This gray world is to much for a girl like me. I used to be happy, smiling, giggling, care-free. It’s gone now. This place I call Hell took it from me. As I think this, I feel my tear ducts squeeze out the tears and the slide down my face. I let the liquid fall, blurring my skin in a sheet of water. The tears come faster, harder, and soon, my jaw is trembling. Hold it back, I command. The tears come faster. HOLD BACK! The tears stop. Suddenly, I feel angry. My eye catches the glass of the window. So beautiful, so dangerous. As if in a trance, I walk to the window and shatter the window with my hand. I feel the blood rush through my veins into the air, and curse the numbness.
I still don’t feel.

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

I like it, but my mind likes to play games, too!! lol This poem reminded me of why I wrote my "Nothing Outside" poem, but it also sounds like you are looking out the window at the sun until you start to cry. : ) I like how the poem starts by letting us know that you don't feel and ends that way too, but the whole of the poem is ALL about what you feel and what you WANT to feel!! I like it. xoxo -Mark

[~L.A.]

You can almost tell that the author is very troubled, and that she doesn't wish for the world to see how broken inside she is, and so she keeps it bottled up, and that the emotions are cracking the surface.