Rush

Take things slow, it's easier that way.

I glanced up to check the time

His eyes were still on mine

For a second, our eyes met

I tried to hide my blushing face

 

His eyes were still on mine

More seconds began to pass

I tried to hide my blushing face

I could hear my heart beating fast

 

More seconds began to pass

Our eyes were locked in war

I could hear my heart beating fast

My eyes dropped to the floor

 

Our eyes were locked in war

Time was passing by slowly

My eyes dropped to the floor

He didn’t quite yet know me

 

Time was passing by slowly

But not slow enough

He didn’t quite yet know me

But love isn’t something you rush

Author's Note

This is the first time I've used a Pantoum form...thoughts? :)

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I don't know what a "pantoum" is, (I mostly write short stories) but I like this poem. How often we have such brief contact with others, as if drawn by some invisible, magnetic force. If only we knew what went through their minds, and if they felt a spark, too.

[Emma Pond]

Its a poetic form where the stanzas go
Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4

Line 2
Line 5
Line 4
Line 6

and so on. It was very different to write with, but I'm glad you liked it. Thank you. But I feel like if we knew what went through their mind, then we wouldn't as magnetized.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you for explaining that, Emma. I do write a few poems, but know nothing about rules or the various forms.

[Emma Pond]

My pleasure. I only recently discovered the various forms in order to participate in a contest (I had to write ten poems in ten different forms), so I'm no expert. It's amazing though, how many different ways something can be written, yet it's still called poetry.

[Samuel Dickens]

You sound as if you're really "into it", and I think that's great.

[Thomas Parke]

Loved the form and the subject matter. Those little moments are some of the best to write about. Good job!

[R.M.W.]

I've never heard of or seen this style of writing. Kinda made my head hurt trying to get the pattern but I love it. You did an amazing job :)

[Emma Pond]

Thank you :) And yeah, it kinda makes my head hurt too!

[DrD]

A very difficult pattern that you handled quite well. I would have preferred that you not repeat "blushing face" but that's just me. I came here because I once wrote a book that was a reference work for the movie, Rush and the title attracted my attention. Nice job. Enjoyed the visit.

[Liamesq]

I really like this style
And the way it all builds up the image vividly
Bravo :)

[Emma Pond]

thank you for reading it:)x

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I love this(: I think it's totally relatable, I've felt this way probably millions of times! I love this part(:

"For a second, our eyes met
I tried to hide my blushing face

His eyes were still on mine
More seconds began to pass
I tried to hide my blushing face
I could hear my heart beating fast"

It definitely shows love, through and through. This is extremely beautiful, and full of emotion and most importantly, love(: it shows how it feels when you have a crush on someone; you're always so nervous ­ around them.

Well great write, I love this, thanks so much for sharing!

[Emma Pond]

thank you so much!:) this was exactly what I was trying to show through the poem :)xx

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

You're welcome(: &you did a beautiful job of showing it!