TREASURE HUNT.

aboard this lonely vessel mine

would i float and traipse 

on angsty waters and hungry swells

to find you so, my lover of gold.

with broken nails

and bloodied teeth

would i dig through mud

they've slung on my name.

eyes dewy like fire

suffocated by cloth

would i pull you from ash

and become phoenix eternal.

there is no name

to the worth borne of you,

nor value or measure

of the finest silks.

yet shattered here

amongst diamond dust

and cracked emerald

you have yet to begin

your search for me, back.

Reviews

[Brandon Houser]

I have a read this a few times this morning. I am not sure I get it all but I want to keep reading it, and that is what makes it so endearing. Mysterious and lingering.

[Michael Sun Bear]

Sorry Emunah, this one just doesn’t work for me. I almost wondered if you had succumbed to using AI. I don’t really believe so, you are way too good a writer, but I just find this poem too strange. While “angsty”is in the dictionary, I found it an awkward word. Fire is not dewy so I was thrown by”eyes dewy like fire.” You totally lost me with “diamond dust and cracked emerald.” Destroyed rings? “Would I pull you from ash and become phoenix eternal”. Which of you is becoming the phoenix? I have read this several times and I just don’t get it. Sorry, normally I love your work, I’m a friend and a fan.

[Emunah June.]

Bummer, I was quite pleased with this piece. That’s okay, I guess it doesn’t work for everyone.

[Emunah June.]

And no. I don’t use AI.

[Michael Sun Bear]

No, I know you don’t. Some here do. It is actually a compliment in that you have such a grasp of language, and such an inventiveness, that they compare. And that’s what is really sad, AI has matured to the point it is creating beautiful writing, and I know people using it and proudly presenting it as their own work. It is going to ruin publishing.