Dimples

magical smile

Dimples

 

My heart jumps up and down

At the sight of your dimples,

Then I remember my hair is brown

And I’ve got many freckles.

 

I am a princess wearing a crown,

When my puppy love tickles,

Then I wake up and frown.

My reality smells like pickles.

 

I look at the pieces of my shredded gown;

Reality cuts my dream with sickles,

Since it just cannot let me drown

By my own daydreaming scribbles.

 

Author's Note

reviews are welcomed. enjoy reading.

Reviews

[Patches I'm not so new..]

This is young love this is full brimming with enthusasm and bright hope an excillerating read!

[Clarisse Nanoit]

this one felt kinda forced... I hate the pickles line. Maybe if you changed it this poem aould be about 45% better. lol. It's an ok effort overall.
KH

[Su' Nacnetaf]

Maybe it's just me, but it kinda' felt as if you struggled to rhyme in this one, not bad, but not your best either.

[Iota]

okay, this made me giggle a few times. Your reality smells like a pickle, lol too good. Oh I can remember those days of yearning for someone out of my reach thank god my mind had the ability to imagine the possibilities. Nice write.

I've always found dimples to be cute. But only on the face, not down, I'm just gonna stop right there... Cute poem.

[Tate Morgan]

Oh that is precious

[ettorney]

I like this. Great imagery. Puppy love, scribbles, dimples all nicely juxtaposed with frowns, shredded gowns and drowning. Takes you up and brings you down, line after line. Very nice.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This was very poetic and dramatically beautiful indeed.
I loved the closing lines a lot, left me in an awe indeed.
Great work here!

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

Wonderful foreshadowing of the last stanza. The poem opened bright and sunny then ended with disappointment of the persona. Rather stricken! I adore this!

Keep it up!
Alex

[Tiffany]

I loved it espically the first paragraph the rythme is oookay but watev I LOVE this!