renting amen's without saddles

renting amen's without saddles

 

 

 

pray for the transient lovers

they never stay in one heart for very long

always that urge to run

to find a new town to cry in

or laugh in

and a significant other willing

to let them move in with a temporary lease

 

on life's affections

 

pray for the transient lovers

surprisingly settled for emotional nomads

 

they take a drag on the Camel

and then ride off to the sands of change

emptying their canteens of emotion,

 

then dying of a thirst for acceptance.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/29/16

Reviews

[paddy d daly]

Struck me as very lonely Jacob,
Very clever wording though,
Really like this one....p

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, my friend, for your kind words.

j.

[Zugzwang]

The futility of transient love.
This is where I would like to make some pithy comment on how I know better than such as they....
Unfortunately I cannot.
I liked the rental metaphor in the beginning and the desert at the end- both of them perfectly apt.
Now, where's my saddle?
z.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your comments, Zeitnot...love that word "pithy"---

j.

[Zugzwang]

It's a good one, isn't it?

[icelandicblue]

First, I love the title it drew me in like a magnet. Lost souls are tenants unwilling to rest, always traveling, but there is no oasis in the desert. They are living in a mirage of their own making.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

such insightful words, thank you, Anne...

j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Those who never stay long eventually wind up without a heart to call home.
Always enjoy your metaphors.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and i appreciate your words on my poems, Dale...

cool avatar, by the way.

[W.k.kortas]

The placement of Camel/camel so closely to "ride off to the sands of change" is just flat-out inspired. There is your trademark wry wordplay here, and it walks hand-in-hand with a certain wistfulness. It's damn tough to do either thing well, and to do them in tandem? Damn.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, W.k....

j.

[Nisreen]

I always though love stands a chance when you stick around endlessly

only lately

true love stands a separation of finding oneself and being alone rebuilding all that is broken
I love your words here of someone who cares for none of that

taking love as mere usage and disposing of all that is beautiful

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful reply, RiverSided...

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Always figured it was good to keep moving--harder for some pain-in-the-a*s process server to catch up with you.
I understand and appreciate just about everything in this impressive poem except "renting amen's without saddles." How are "amens" horse-like?
Strong offering, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

saddles for the Camels (double meaning) and the short lived relationships that "Amen" too quickly.read moresaddles for the Camels (double meaning) and the short lived relationships that "Amen" too quickly.

thank you for your honest review, my friend.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

They chase acceptance and, once found, they move on to the next conquest. Nomads....serial lovers....we have all encountered them. They leave deep footprints in our hearts, but they never look back. Great metaphor. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really like your choice of words, thank you for the review, Lydi.

j.

[B. Boileau]

The nomads of Limerenice. Never quite sure or never quite filled with what it is they look for, and its never enough once they think they found it...So they keep searching hoping to be found.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, bill....

j.

[iand63]

Words are fickle lovers, they tantalise and tease and promise fulfilment only to leave us wanting more. Who'd be a poet huh? Our works are our 'transient lovers' fascinating piece J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is true, they are aren't they?
thank you, ian.

j.