song of the south

song of the south 

 

 

befriending earthworms

decomposing composer

feels poetic death

 

shoveled syllables

sting his skin

with verbal dismay

 

a quick prayer or two

a headstone, with proper grammar

in epitaph of a graphic life

spun into comatose words

 

and he,

buried with his typewriter

by his side, still ticking

 

even when his heart is not.

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/16/16

Reviews

[jesserose99]

what can one say when your poetry says so much in itself. you have a way with imagery of words you wouldn't expect to imagine.
what a way to describe this man's struggle. you have such a strong grasp of how to use our language, with a style so unique.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, jesserose.

j.

[Carolynn]

Amazing Jacob - you're writing always amazes me - where those thoughts come from! Such a gift :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i don't know where they come from, Carolynn...i swear, i am no more than a conduit---words come, i write them...
thank you for your kind comment.
j.

[Dhaye]

Comatose words...such momentary feeling when one faied to create a quality piece or when he is not satisfied with his work. Readers don't realize it but the writer feels it at time of writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very insightful words, Dhaye.

j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"I have heard on good authority that I was dead...but the report was an exaggeration." Mark Twain

I like the idea of having a Smith-Corona lying next to me in my casket...I might want to edit my will. Great stuff here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, that is a great quote...Twain had so many---thank you for your words, Fabian.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

never say die says i! ;) this is one of my reasons for cremation and scattering ... others are: taking less space ..quick "decomposition" .. and romance :)
i like the many ways one can clearly take this ... its universal but ever so personal .. your title especially peaks my interest .. you are from the Bronx and live in Illinois, in your about me .... hmmmmm a Southern writing really in the grave but writing is immortal?? ...i love Google! ..will look deeper into "Song" of the South ... don't tell me tho sir!! it will ruin the fun in this one ..i like it a lot
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

me too...in my will...cremation and scattering...thank you for your kind words---and i will be interested to see what you come up with---just a hint...well no, you don't want one...so i will leave it be...

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

well .... Walt is definitely in the grave and all his works still ticking ... i think some of the newrer Disney production cause him to turn in his grave a bit but hey ... he had to have at least a tiny progressive bend back then ... Uncle Remus (still a point of contention) is who i think of first ..and his fantastic Zippity-do-dah bluebird song :)))

[Shabeeh Haider]

We have all gone through this phase. So much to say but the words don't come. You have a way with words. Commendable.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Shabeeh.

j.

[iand63]

Here he be lying
unto himself

Epitaphs like statistics can be used to prove any theory. You are far from poetic death and mausoleum dry words my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, ian.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Takes a licking, but keep on clicking? Poems about writer's block are always a great way to kick start inspiration....as you have proven with this one, Jacob. We've all experienced "verbal dismay" at one time or another. Does the poet die when his words dry up? If that is the case, my friend, you have many years ahead of you! I liked this a lot. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi..

j.

[Norman 223]

I read this more as a symbol of the temporary demise of the poet due to "writer's block". Perhaps I'm being too simplistic in this view, but I never say I'm dead until I'm gone. Then others can be responsible for the quality of the headstone.:-)

Norman

[jacob erin-cilberto]

spot on, Norman...thank you for your insights.

j.

[barleygirl]

Even when pondering the very end, your thoughts are still entwined with the accoutrements of writing *smile* As always, nicely crafted phrases with interesting alliteration.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, barleygirl

j.