mute melody

mute melody

 

 

expressive tones,

your eyes are music

i am tone deaf but still feel the magic

 

in your philosophical gaze

as you imply possibilities

with a heart not recovered

 

from another's off-key song...

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/19/16

Reviews

[softlyfall]

I love the format here. The single statement. Then two short stanzas, each one a description, followed by the response of the protagonist, followed by emotional embellishment. Then a single line to bind them.
Very intelligent use of form and simplicity for a complex theme.
I love it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Amy

j.

[zunie frost]

Wow .. this was really nice. I love every bit of it . Thanks for sharing your work

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, zunie.

j.

[MOON]

Lovely write fear of another broken song....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Moon.
j.

[Urja Gokani]

amazingly written keep it up :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, cherryblossom...

j.

[Urja Gokani]

welcome :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Even before the heart has recovered we start dancing to the tunes played by melodious eyes.
Men will be men.
Another beautiful poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Shabeeh...

j.

[Bacchus]

off-key song just mean you're learning?
right?
guess not always here.
I like this one... I'm in a music mode myself.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks Bacchus...i am always in that mode...always...

appreciate your kind words.
read morethanks Bacchus...i am always in that mode...always...

appreciate your kind words.

j.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Love between two people is so much like music. It consists of lyrics, dance and its own unique rhythm. Your piece reminds me so much of how it truly is and there is always, "...a heart not recovered."

Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, H.L.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Being the rebound person is never easy. Still, someone has to feel the magic and break through. Hearts never recover if no one takes a chance. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is true...thank you, Lydi.

j.

[barleygirl]

Your poem reminds me of all the people wandering around thru life, afraid to reach out anymore, still stinging from past hurts (love: "another's off-key song"), such that eventually we are all engaged in a "mute melody" (excellently crafted phrase). Imagine if we could all break free from this fear & damage & just openly love each other!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, barleygirl.

j.

[Cassie]

This is really really good as always Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Cassie...:)))