signs of vacancy

signs of vacancy

 

 

at the old motel

sheets are changed

corrupt corners turned down

writing on the walls, bled to the white

room service ideas

 

stole the little soaps,

mom used to use to wash our mouths out

when we used clichés

 

she wanted our poems to shine

with sophistication,

to disrupt the interstate of creativity

like speeding, out of control semis 

 

washed the evidence away from inspiration

that didn't work,

like the broken tv sets 

that created silence for a preponderance

pondering

 

-------------

 

outside the trucks rolled by

inside the thoughts rolled by

 

and the dim bed lamps

illuminated shadows in a mind

that lost its drive to write,

 

at least i have those soaps

to show for it,

 

i did stay there

and give it a shot

 

but checked out 

long before i checked in.

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/11/17

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Those little soaps and the massaging fingers that shook the lumpy bed for a quarter. The motels at the side of the road that always had one or two letters not lit because the neon buzzed all night. We were young, idealistic, and thought our words would take us down the road....yup, those were the days. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Lydi.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

a lonely sad write j, filled with regrets, i like the imagery the goals set, the soap in mouth (i remember i got for fibbing lol, twas a habit breaker), but to be used to encourage is sad maybe painful, and then the finale, alone empty of inspiration hence the signs of vacancy has two sides, a room for new ideas to fill or think an empty mind to forget.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, andrew.

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

The break in this piece seems to indicate the passing of time and suddenly like the director anticipated we are watching the writer sitting at his desk with the rumble of that passing truck telling us this is here and now. Always such depth and often tinges of reflected regret Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, John...

love your insights.

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Although, Jacob, you may have meant this piece seriously, it does qualify as excellent dark humor. Perhaps, dark humor is always humor meant seriously.
"Mom use to use (little soaps) to wash our mouths out when we used cliches." Wonderful!
If practiced, today, the millions of foamy mouths would resemble universal rabies.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

almost always i insert some humor, dark or otherwise, in my pieces...and i appreciate your words, Jimmy.
thank you
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

A surprise of poetic residence lives to tell the tale of
soap capturing those unwashed verses.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are so clever in your replies...thank you, my friend.
j.