iambic balance

iambic balance

 

 

your razor sharp sarcasm

cut my lip into double talk

my reply echoed within

but never surfaced to be heard

 

your eyes reproached me

as i approached you with lean to

but you swayed the other way

 

and i fell,

not for you,

just over

 

now i am bleeding gibberish

while my heart tries to slice you back

 

but your elastic skin

just imagines

while i keep making sense

 

only to the other poets

who have been there,

and somehow stayed on their feet.

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/10/17

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Surgically incising sarcasm! "Cut my lip into double talk"-beyond great! Love this j.!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Annette....
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

I am reminded of repetitive dreams I have ..in which I am trying to run away from some horror or another and tho my feet are clipping along at 500 mph I move an inch at a time .. or when I am fighting a bad guy ... swing with all my might and connect but my punch lands like feathers ...I hate those dreams ;) but i sure like your poem .. i appreciate the acknowledgement of other poets who have been there ... i truly believe it is the impetus that has moved so many to start to write .. i love this line:
"as i approached you with lean to" ... the feeling of imbalance almost caused me to fall off my chair very cool stuff ;)
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your words, E.
you are always encouraging with your reviews.
j.

[Tom]

Reminds me of a one sided tennis match, you're on the receiving end of some pretty hard hit serve and volleys Jacob, of those returns you can manage to get over the net, they are simply side stepped or hit back with interest!!

A metaphoric masterclass! Game, set and match and another trophy for your already bulging cabinet!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the analogy....tennis is my favorite game...thank you, Tom,
j.

[Zugzwang]

I liked the way you played with vowel sounds in this one, it reminded me of Plath.
I don't think I'd like to meet the person you're describing, the interaction as you described it was fraught! Such an evocative piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Zeitnot...wow, Plath. I did my masters thesis on her and Sexton...appreciate the thought...
j.

[Zugzwang]

Youre welcome, j. It was a great read.

[Poetic Beauty]

Love the description in this piece. Sometimes people are just cruel and heartless.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Poetic Beauty..

j.

[Poetic Beauty]

Anytime. I truly enjoy reading your poetry

[W.k.kortas]

Wonderful stuff--visual and evocative, but with no unnecessary clutter or bric-a-brac, just every word doing its job. That just sounds easy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, W.k.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

To be or not to be a purist or an experimental poet in balance or out of balance. Just as love Jacob. Has it form and meter? Yet we strive to make it pure. I may be way off this mark but as always your work and the metaphors never cease to please.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like your take, John...thank you.
j.

[Surya]

Emotions and artists are made for each other, some how poets won the race...
Slicing metaphors galore to me.....I loved it...:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Surya...

j.