what really burns sweet

what really burns sweet

 

my elaboration

is a collaboration 

of words and phrases

heart and soul fazes

my intention

is a convention

of trivial verse

not so terse

 

as to be succinct enough

or distinct enough

 

 

sounds like a thousand other poets

in wistful configuration

and conflagration

of an indignation

 

to ignite the passion,

as i recite 

calcite responses

to those who are cold as stone

thinking love poems

are spreading fluff

 

as i eat my cotton candy dream

and the keys stick to each other

 

like the two of us.

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/26/17

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

This would have made John Lennon so angry at one time lol - remember McCartney wrote 'Silly Love Songs' in response to his put down of love songs and such.
Times I wish I'd never felt this 'thing called love' Jacob but then I remember how ecstatic it made me feel and I want it back...lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

me too, Tony....and yes, those two really fought over McCartney's lyrics...
thank you,
j.

[Tom]

Yes siree Jacob, for those that never know or can indulge in the thrill of the quill, well, they know not of life's secrets or pledges of passion!

A quite superlative piece of poetry!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Tom.
j.

[DIVYA]

Who cares if it is fluff if it comes from within. Poetry must confirm only to the self. If I am not convinced about a concept I don't trouble myself over it. I love the concluding lines. So sweet and sticky.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, DIVYA...
j.

[emmajoy]

Your use of language could never be accused or being either fluff or stone, jacob! You somehow find a rhythmic to and fro - cuckoo clock words, needing to be heard then hidden, then.. repeating the process until it all makes wonderful sense.

'The two of us' will romp til the two become one wonderful balancing act. Perhaps?!.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, em.

j.

[Bacchus]

i can almost smell the machine heating up
to make the cotton candy

...don't we all talk circles sometimes
like you've described so well here?

the contrast are really great in this piece
the sweet fluff vs the cold stone...

like your love isn't real.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

even as i was writing this, i was thinking of McCartney's "silly love songs"
and wondered if this piece was too "fluffy" ---
so i appreciate your words....pain and nostalgia seem easier to write.

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A smorgasbord of wordplay in this canter over the poet's raison d' etre and the tension between the triviality of romantic poetry perceived as 'fluff' by the concrete thinkers amongst us. So eating your words perhaps leaves an element of writers block to deal with.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you response really gave me a smile...
thank you for your words, John.
j.