a grip exhaled

a grip exhaled

 

 

 

suffocate the incentive

choke the proverbs into submission

cliche me to death with your list of attributes

 

i will attribute nothing to your illogical flaws

and flawed logic

except maybe a dose of nostalgia

to remind you of when you were nothing

 

and i was everything to you

 

now the breathing of you has slowed in me

barely a heartbeat left

of what once was a pounding verse

 

a reverse

of wordiness,

just a sharp, concise picture

 

of humble love

that is felt

like a slow, sure pulse

 

quietly.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/8/18

Reviews

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Oh the feeling of being everything to someone- the depth of the exhale the peace it brings- I hope that peace fills your heart- wonderful like always🌹

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Kelly.
j.

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

MY pleasure kind sir- wishing you happiness and much love always🌹

[DIVYA]

a grip exhaled... superb!

Your pen cuts deep into the anatomy of love, slashing through the fascia, the muscle and the nerves, laying the bones of it bare on the table! Love as love is, cannot be persuaded or choked into submission. It wilts like a wilting heartbeat from the wilfulness of lovers. It thrives in the gentle breath of a thoughtful and compassionate lover!

Kudos sir!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, DIVYA.
j.

[θεά]

Hard hitting and one that reverberates with the reader even after s/he is done reading.
These words "to remind you of when you were nothing and i was everything to you" have resonated with me. How true, how equations change and the real selves are revealed with time.

But the angst of being wronged remains, enough to fuel the surge towards greater highs.

Pithy and succinct. Love it.
Best,
M.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Mallika..
j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Ive felt this about life and writing many times...not necessarily a person. I was nothing and life endured my start. marking me for greatness...my mind folded and I forgot how to hold the pen. My lips sealed and I forgot how to say the words...BUT here I am...that sure steady pulse...still beating...still waiting ....still here...even when Im not.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, you are definitely still here, Queenie...moving on and staying strong.

j.

[Crowley]

Time can erode that pounding for sure...but I like the smooth and calm response to the situation here and wish that I would be able to be that reflective. this oozes coolness and an attitude above reproach. I loved how this feels.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Crowley.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Wow, how time can change situations. A powerful piece of poetry Jacob. You certainly got your point across.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Chris.
j.

[Carolynn]

Funny how things change, people change and how some things that once were so powerful and passionate can change to as you so eloquently wrote it “barely a heartbeat left”

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Carolynn.
j.

[Ken Simm.]

I love that title and I really love the concepts behind this wonderfully written poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Ken.
j.

[Neville]

another one of yours I wish I had written myself.. perfectly pitched I reckon regardless of the original motivation, but guaranteed to hit home....... a very special bit o poetry jacob... N

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Neville.
j.

[Neville]

entirely my pleasure j.... N

[Jimmy Yetts]

Fierce castigation of someone you still love?
Not sure about the continuing love but the castigation is stark and sharp.
In any event, what happens to someone you don't love whom you choose to dress down?
Powerful piece, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jimmy.
j.