Dissolution

Dissolution    

did you expect severance pay

when you left me with a blind heart

you thought you were a visionary

and needed to share yourself with the world

breaking ours and mine apart

your last check is on the kitchen table

where you left your goodbye note

I am staring at it now,

as I consume my over-easy eggs

realizing you had me over-easy

back in the day,

and then left me scrambled,

gnawing on the burnt toast

of heartache,

as our company

went bankrupt. 

erin-cilberto

9/20/19

Reviews

[BlackRose]

Love your use of the metaphors. It works so well here. Well written piece of such heartache at one time or another we all have been through I'm sure, but never wanted to end up going through in the first place.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, BlackRose,
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I always love your use of metaphors. You can literally take anything and turn it into poetry. Love it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words Linda Marie,
j.

[CD Campbell]

It would be funny if only the tears weren't ruining the toast. The metaphors are far from mundane. It's well penned heartache, jacob. But your words can't mask the hole in the heart of the poem that can never be filled. You would be better off with donuts. Love gone wrong makes me lose my appetite.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i will tell the speaker to try donuts...thank you for your thoughtful reply...that also gave me a smile, CD...
thanks...

[CD Campbell]

You're welcome.

[Fay Slimm]

The brilliant metaphors used in this half-humorous verse are simply perfect for the description of Dissolution my friend........ your pen excels with phrasing like "gnawing on the burnt toast of heartache" - - a read to read over again and again........... Fay

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Fay.
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

I love the sense of humor that's in this piece.
I'm still pondering on the best way I should ever analysis this.

Well penned, J.

[barleygirl]

Overeasy --> Scrambled (brilliant!) What stands out for me, end of V1, how sometimes a friend/lover is more concerned with "what's out there" and seemingly uninterested in what we might find "in here." Your flippant metaphors dance with bitterness (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Margie,
j.

[Dave Brown]

I am probably not supposed to find humor here but I quite enjoyed the descriptive aspect of your kitchen table woes

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh my goodness, Dave, i would hope you found humor in this...meant to be tongue-in-cheek..
thank you,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

'Gnawing on the burnt toast of heartache", that really does leave a bitter after taste. She left you scrambled. That reminds me of where I was when my first marriage ended. Some relationships cause damage that remains years later. Yes, they can be that destructive. I got the distinct feeling here of someone's good nature being taken advantage of. Much to ponder on here Jacob. Great expression.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words in review, Chris,
j.