Offering

Offering

 

 

 

October is slithering in

trees in dignified foliage

worship the deeply halcyon skies

 

pews of Maples blush

as the gospel is red lining

and the sacrifice of summer

is lying on an altar

of burnt orange

 

incense burns bonfire blue

Winter is knocking on the door

daring us to peek through tomorrow's monocle

 

to embrace the chill's bristling nature

hold tight the waning light

knowing a shortness of breath

and vapor smiles

 

will disappear

under the first snow

 

when the mass ends

and the final hymn

sung 

 

to a desolate congregation

of headstones

silently leaving the church.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/28/19

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I see this as a metaphor for the last years of life, mid-aged to old; and the vision of headstones silently leaving the church is really impactful for me. Here in Virginia, there are many churches with a cemetery on the same grounds, either in front of or to the side of the church. The headstones are like members of the congregation, still in attendance, quietly listening for the choir. Very nice.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Linda,
j.

[John the Baptist]

The interaction of religious and nature symbols in this one is striking. The serpentine quality of autumn's approach in verse one is a harbinger of death. The sacrifice of summer in verse two is reminiscent of the Old Testament or possibly something pagan. The subsequent verses describe the winter's irresistible entrance, and its connection to death with the first snow. The end presents us with the desolate image of headstones after the final hymn has been sung. All in all a somber picture that will be balanced by the resurrection of spring.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, John,
j.

[Sam Gregory]

I enjoyed this, I really like how you used personification to describe the trees as if theyre reaching up praising the sky, halcyon is one of my fav words too. I read that 3rd stanza several times in particular, alliteration was effective here and I love "tomorrows monocle". This whole poem had me thinking, like at first Ihought that the sacrifice of summer referred to summer ending but it struck me the altar could be the horizon and the sacrifice being the sun setting. I guess everything open to interpretation. Impressive work, the imagery is striking and masterfully written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words...and i feel poetry is always up to the reader as far as interpretation...
no matter what is in the mind of the writer.
thank you so much for your review.
j.

[Sam Gregory]

No worries, keep it up:)