the star shorted out

the star shorted out

a cold gathering

of used snowflakes wandering

lost shepherds at bay

erin-cilberto

12/23/19

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

You know Jacob, this little senryu has a political meaning for me. Usually snowflakes are most beautiful and worthy of looking at. Here all I see are those who don't carry out the wishes of the electorate and have well and truly lost their way. In this context snowflakes aren't worth a second look. The sooner they melt, the better.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh yes, a hint of that for sure...thank you, Chris,
j.

[VelvetPotato]

I am enjoying all of your cold and winter-y poems lately. I love the imagery of this haiku. I imagine the stars falling from the sky to become snow, and then the shepherds are lost because they have no constellations to follow or reference.

Simply lovely.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like that...stars becoming snow...so poetic...
thank you, Velvet,
j.

[Robert Trakofler]

The loss of light is devastating... I just stubbed my toe! Good thing I'm not a shepherd heaven knows there's much better people to flock to:) thank goodness many stars have yet to be born, maybe the next one will outshine the last... good friend:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, bunny....hope that toe is getting better...
j.

[Robert Trakofler]

it is on the mend now... I think I won't have to have it amputated! They were on the fence about it but I think the infection didn't reach the bone:)

[DIVYA]

So telling of recent times...enjoyed your words here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, DIVYA,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

A nice touch J, could use some snowflakes in Australia right now.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew...we have 60 degrees today.
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

Wandering among the Stars... which ones will fall...
upon wondering used snowflakes.. great words
in your writing etched in Congress walls. Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

subconsciously....i think i was going there.
thank you, Pat,
j.

[Dave Brown]

There seems no end to the trouble a star, shorted out, can cause.
Wandering snowflakes!
Lost shepherds (at bay?)!
What next?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

maybe there will be a sequel....thank you, Dave,
j.