Outlaw

Outlaw

 

 

bars of sunshine imprison me

i rode the dark horse and wore a black hat

 

emotions galloped against a wind of love

guns blazing but getting slapped

to the point of falling off the saddle

and shooting my heart in the foot

 

arrested for vagrancy

i ended up in a jail of remorse

wishing i had learned better

 

how to ride out

the tempest

that was you.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/20/19

Reviews

[Jimmy Yetts]

Embarrassing for a proper bad guy to shoot his heart in the foot.
Obviously, this black-hatted blackheart has no staying power; being
unable to ride out the tempest that was her.
Next time, the vagrant will, hopefully, do better than
a "jail of remorse."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

maybe he will switch to a white hat.
thank you, Jimmy.
j.

[VelvetPotato]

This lost love is really putting you through the ringer! Isn't it crazy how our emotions almost always overshadow our logic? There are a couple of past boyfriends that I can specifically and tangibly list off why it would be bad to be with them, yet... sometimes, in moments of weakness, I still want to?! Life is tough...
Well we knew the poem wasn't going to end well in the beginning since you were wearing a black hat, and also riding a dark horse. Yay symbolism! Once again I love the metaphors. Also being arrested for "vagrancy".... pretty darn creative!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but then i guess if the emotions didn't, we would just be robots...thank you for your kind review, Velvet...
j.

[PaintedBirdy]

modern jails don't have bars. other than that i love it. i've lost count of how many times i've been to jail. and how many times i've been drunk.

i think "guns blazing" is symbolic of confidence. but one keeps going! i like "shooting my heart in the foot" because it's impossible. vagrancy is allusive to the lonliness of mankind. i feel ya brother. like i said, i lost count how many times i been to jail.

"outlaw" as jungian shadow as single man. i love it. you're brilliant again. thanks for sharing homeboy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but the metaphor here actually references the old west...thank you for your kind review, Garcon.
read morebut the metaphor here actually references the old west...thank you for your kind review, Garcon.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Top notch J, maybe you should have joined the magnificent seven where you ride off leaving broken hearts! A very nice write!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

would i have been one of the three who survived? or was it two...now i can't remember...
thanks, andrew,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Hi Jacob merry Xmas it’s Boxing Day here loved your poem especially the last verse

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie...
yes, by now there it is so Happy Boxing Day...

[Dave Brown]

Sometime those saddle sores can be difficult to get use to
Hoping you get through this difficulty and have a happy holiday season
Merry Christmas

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the past has bountiful inspiration for writes...my Holiday Season has been quite good, thanks Dave...hope yours is good as well.
j.

[DIVYA]

Some can’t be won anyway. I’d give you full marks for being brave in trying to ride the tempest. Guns blazed and the heart was in peril yet the poet was well meaning and lessons were learnt.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i still have so many lessons to learn and a short time to learn them.
thank you, DIVYA...
read morei still have so many lessons to learn and a short time to learn them.
thank you, DIVYA...
j.

[DIVYA]

Indeed. Life is about learning my friend. You’re wished many more decades of happiness and writing beautiful poetry. Always a pleasure to read you.

[Ted Kniffen]

Kinda reminded me of Pecos Bill riding a tornado. An emotional firestorm when one feels like he did something bad enough to get slapped down, but not so bad as to spend years behind bars...a black hat is just a hat.

Every time I tried to ride a horse I got bucked off...so rode motorcycles instead.

A good love story j. Not all sunshine and light...but most aren't

[jacob erin-cilberto]

have to be careful of those motorcycles as well...
thanks for your kind words, Ted,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Yeah j. had that lesson driven home many years ago...t-boned by a 72 Torino.