i remember a woman once

i remember a woman once

 

 

sever the expenses

the cost of you too high

balance lost in the tide

 

i was the sandcastle

you invaded with swells of love

so strong

you left nothing in your wake

 

except one small tower

to which the drawbridge

was broken.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/4/2020

Reviews

[AJNJ]

I can feel the destruction unleashed. All broken and swept away. Such are some relationships and some people.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your understanding, Peston.
j.

[AJNJ]

You're most welcome sir.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I wish I knew how to find such kernels of allegorical creativeness. Once again this one places the picture of a sea shore and that sandcastle in the reader's mind. I can see that encroaching tide as I read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, John,
j.

[Neville]

.... I remember a woman from way back whose drawbridge was broken way beyond repair .. she let half the visiting soccer team pass right through and most of the spectators too ..

... Way back is not a place by the way :) and they called her Penicillin Penny ...

N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

poor Penny...
lost in the moat.
thank you for the smile, Neville,
j.

[Papaya]

Some people aren't worth it. That's for sure.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but it is so hard to give up on them...
thank you, Ana,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Lol had to laugh J, perfectly written on a relationship that didn’t work. Reminded me of a joke which I won’t say where some behave like a hurricane. I’ve met one of those!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, and the storm damage is awful...
thank you, andrew,
j.