Tater Tots Poetry

Tater Tots Poetry

 

 

a spiffy, clean page

an inspiration left

in the sponge mind

of a washed-up poet

 

who can't transfer

thought to paper except

(maybe bathroom tissue

just before the flush of feelings

swirls down the pipes of persnickety's

 

parliament)

the gathered, garnished,

garrulous words

voting "nay"

to the poet

who must accept his fate

and write himself out of the assembly

assembling little more

than fractured fairy tales

only children would find

 

substantial.

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/29/2020

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

This is ironic in a way. We may have a mature outlook that sometimes runs dry but then maybe the child in us comes out to play to entertain in a simplistic approach not complicated. Roald Dahl was great at simple kid adult writes. However reading twice I thought of Trump and his immature childish ways and on believing his fairy tale logic trying to sell it to the audience.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like that, andrew...Trump...he definitely fits here.
You know who was great at writing poetry of children, teenagers etc.? Gwendolyn Brooks...amazing how she could change her voice to different ages.
j.

[barleygirl]

As a fresh-snob from agriculture-rich Cali, I've never eaten any tater-tot-like (fake) food products. Someone asked me to do a collaboration based on tater tots recently & I refused. Not part of my life experience. But as I read your poem, I see myself all puffed up on empty calories like an errant tot got sideways in my craw (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You errant? Never, never....
thank you for the smile, Margie.
j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Writers block is an illness to a poet.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it most definitely is, my friend...most definitely is.

[Chris Shaw]

I know this is about writers block Jacob, but you also brought me little children creating their masterpieces out of blank paper with primary colours, fingers and sponges. Children do not seem to have the fear about their creativity falling apart that us, adults do. Thank you for where you took me with these lines, they took me back to elementary school. Yes, my inner child came out to play and she was having fun. Potato prints :))

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, Children do not have a lot of fear of anything...good for them, too bad for the adults.
thank you, Christine,
j.

[Dave Brown]

We all experience our blocks
You've possibly noticed that I lean to the silly childish side which I much prefer to serious attempts

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but you do that side so well, Dave,
thank you for your words,
j.

[Anni Pon]

A great portrait of writer's block and the fear of being "washed-up" or losing your wits / talents with age. I especially like the ending stanza. It makes me think of my grandmother, who was a talented author until a surgery (for epilepsy) made writing very difficult for her. She took to mostly writing children's books instead. Nothing wrong with that!

Was the change in font intentional? Because I don't think it's really necessary and it's a little bit distracting. Same with the change in spacing near the end. I like the title, but I kind of wish there was some reference to tater tots in the actual poem instead of just in the title. I think it would really bring things around full circle. But overall, very nice poem!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the font is the same, but yes, the spacing is on purpose...
children love tater tots and are tots...
that is the title's reference...with the Fractured Fairy Tales...which was a part of the Rock and Bullwinkle show I used to watch as a kid.
thank you for your honest critique...I appreciate that.
j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and as we age, eating has to once again be simplified.
and the words come to him more spaced apart than ever...
as it gets harder for him to put together a stanza from his loose, disconnected lines.
j.

[Anni Pon]

I like the fractured fairy tales line! And I also like the double meaning of tater tots and young tots. The wider spacing at the end does give a disconnected feeling, like it's harder and harder for him to put the words together so there are pauses. It works!

I think it's just a size difference in the font that I was noticing in the middle, but it's not a huge deal.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that's the site...sometimes it transfers from microsoft word that way...that is not intended---thank you for seeing that...I will try to repost it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I have reposted it...thank you for catching that...my eyes must be getting as bad as my mind.

[MomzillaNC]

We do lose ourselves in our grownup woes, don't we. I think it takes a certain youthful abandon to let the poetic muse flow freely.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I do agree, Momz...
I do agree....
j.