Overheard

Overheard

a bewildered simile

asked out of the poem

the metaphor obliged saying,

"no need to be like, just be"

as they walked down a sidewalk

conversing in couplets

the two of them a smiling, beguiling pair

rhyming, never thinking of 

two-timing

until the assonance kicked in

and the metaphor cried,

"I knew you would become that,

you fooled me once

but I am not like a dunce

so it won't happen again."

erin-cilberto

12/29/21

Reviews

[Ada]

This write reminds me of that old adage "shame on me" only you developed a small script; interesting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Ada,
j.

[Throwing Romeo]

Like literary birds
sharing,mingling
reciting possibility.
Like brothers
bumping sholders
after a movie.
Just love the
bantering flo.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Throwing Romeo,
j.

[Lisasview]

Another..I love the poem..
Lisa

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lisa,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

" but I am not like a dunce"... The metaphor clearly resents the implication. Okay, so maybe not clearly, maybe it covertly resents the implication. John Prine wrote the funniest song called , "It's a Big Old Goofy World." In the introduction to the song he talks about similes and says he always thought it was funny how someone might eat like a horse and sing like a bird, then says he started to name it, "When the world was flat as a pancake Mona Lisa was happy as a clam." Great write, my friend. ;)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the smile, Fabian.
j.

[Patricia]

Will it happen again? Such a pair, and you are funny and clever and that’s a good pair! Love this:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Patricia,
j.

[Patricia]

You're welcome j.

[John the Baptist]

Sadly, similes will always be unhappy. When you compare, you invite despair.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think I will rip up that invitation...thank you, John,
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

The smile on my face after reading that is not bewildered at all. Reminded me so much of my attempts at free verse and assonance, alliteration butt in and next thing you know it becomes that. That was a fun poem that hits a deeper funny bone in the arm I write with.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Bill,
j.

[Shannon O'Gara]

Lovely piece of writing Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Shannon,
j.

[Crowley]

Lol...its the teacher in you, creating ways to make us understand and wrap it up in a clever piece of writing that should decorate the pages of Strunk and White. Awesome!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Crowley,
j.

[Writergurl]

The metaphor cried, I love that part,
this is amazing, really enjoyed this piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind comments, writergurl.
j.