last pack

last pack

 

 

 

i woke to a cigarette

and a touch

as your fingers felt for mine

i puffed on a contented filtering of love

 

smoke rings towards heaven

you were my perfect cloudburst

i felt the rain reign in my

clutched heart

 

you were where i was

and then 

clarity

empty blue skies

 

for the first time,

i hated the sun.

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/8/22

Reviews

[knighngale]

oh wow, dear. I love smoking. I feel so calm and collect when I take a smoke. Last pack? eh? and Blue? Camel? LOL :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, knighngale...
quit about 13 years ago....Camel was the first cigarette I ever had. But they are handy in metaphorical sense.
j.

[knighngale]

oh my, :D LOL

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love this
The ending is brilliant
Really enjoyed this one Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Julie,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

When the pack is empty, the smoker suffers. I felt the contentment disappear here in the last puff of smoke as the clouds blotted out the sun. There is much emotion here. The lines tell a sad story J. One though, which will be relatable to many.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Chris,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Filled with such longing and sadness; tinged with nostalgia and regret...you make us miss her every whit as much as you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Fabian,
j.

[Writergurl]

I really love this write, I love the imagery and the uniqueness if this....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, writergurl,
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

The clarity of my dreams don't come so easily to me. It's not until hours after I awake that I can recall what or who I dreamed about. But I do try and recapture them by going back to sleep, especially if something abruptly interrupts them...like my cat's regurgitating something disgusting. But what you've done here is beautiful, that fleeting moment of time you've captured is something we've all experienced. I could almost feel the warmth of the sun.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I do that same thing...trying to get back to the dream at the point it stopped...
thank you for your kind review,
j.

[M. J. Smith]

How many times have I cursed the sun for ruining my best dreams? Especially if I was missing someone. The heartbreak... Well done, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, M.J.

appreciate your words,
j.