Arrival

Arrival

 

 

scintillating snowbirds

capture the frozen worms

on blanketed sidewalks

 

the streets are paved with ice

as the sunshine is shielded

by large naked oaks

 

a car starts, hums a tune

trying to warm itself

of frigid heart

 

machines have feelings, too

so says some god of technology

even as the snowbirds sing

 

through Wi-Fi speakers

in surrealistic stereo

but the disregarded worms

 

still try to crawl into the 21st century

one segment at a time....

 

erin-cilberto

3/12/22

Reviews

[Lathen Griffiths]

Oh my goodness Jacob, I haven’t heard that song ‘snowbird‘ since I was a young child, ( it was released the year that I was born) thank you for the wintry reminder.

Lathen

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lathen, appreciate your review.
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

The surreal world of jacob. A 20th century man writing in the 21st. Clinging to a wormy ladder while the storm in your freezing mind reaches for the warmth in your heart that pushes the ink of your ideas.

I wrote a couple Senryu last week that I was going to post after I get done with the 'thing'. I noticed your next poem has something to do with senryu and these kind of relate to this poem so I thought I'd share them with you then see if there is some strange coincidence when I read yours.

Caste System (pair of thoughts in Senryu)

in lowerarchy
Our loins and mechanisms
Become intertwined

In hierarchy
Media/technology
Mated, now combined

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like these Bill....

[knighngale]

oh cool, that's so cool. you really mark worms. lol... the mood is right, and I enjoyd your read. :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, knighngale,
j.

[knighngale]

your very most welcome, :D

[John the Baptist]

Sounds as though the poor worms are stuck in some sort of time warp, trying desperately to get into this century. Also, the poor souls are frozen and captured by snowbirds, then apparently discarded. Meanwhile, a car starts and tries to warm itself and its frigid heart. We are advised that machines have feelings, too. The snowbirds, meantime, are singing through wi-fi speakers, seemingly having lost interest in the worms. Well, there it is, plain as the nose on your face: Snowbirds are easily distracted.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha, so Anne Murray was singing about distracted birds...perhaps,
thank you, John,
j.

[M. J. Smith]

Ah, what us d to be... Where have those grand old days gone? Now, we worry less about missiles and more about cyberwar. World changes faster then The Flash can run. Well observed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your insightful words,
j.

[JE Falcon]

I'm relating to this poem very well, "still try to crawl into the 21st century --- one segment at a time...."
The visuals are good, and the meaning is clear. Well said.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, JE,
j.

[Aluppi Jampur]

Kind of feels like arriving somewhere on autopilot, vaguely aware and having taken no pleasure in the journey because of the less than desirable emotional landscape.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your insightful reply, Chrome,
j.

[Patricia]

Ya gotta treat that girl’s heart well or you won’t be going anywhere and she will leave ya in the cold with the worms. Love this

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha, thank you, Patricia,
j.

[.]

No need for the radiator or coolant in this season of frozen time.i loved the whole scenario of this poem....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Dreamer,,,,,

j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was surreal. It's like looking at a Salvador Dali painting in words; the machinery representing the melting clocks. If I might be so bold as to offer a suggestion, in the third line on the second stanza the word "but" seems as if it should have been "by" because it doesn't follow the logical progression of that stanza or fit into the following stanza; a rare occurrence in your writing. If I am in error I offer my apology, if not, then I may have helped. As for the rest of the content it speaks to me of the frozen hands of time, perhaps unchanging seasons. To me, most technological and political change isn't always that good or it moves faster than the generations of mankind can adapt. Perhaps an electric blanket is in order all around. Always your careful reader, F.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Fabian, a typo I missed...I will get on that right away...it is supposed to be "by"---read morethank you, Fabian, a typo I missed...I will get on that right away...it is supposed to be "by"---
Sometimes we see what we meant to type...I really appreciate your insightful review and the catch.
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

If you run across typos or mistakes in mine I hope you'll point them out, I try to proofread everything but I generally only catch my mistakes after I've posted them. Loved the poem, btw.