Poem 3,488 just outside my window

Poem 3,488 just outside my window

 

 

 

the pond is sinking

the yard is screaming

dead night crawlers

litter the soaked grass

that seeks shelter

from the burst pipes of petulance

 

I want to sink into shallow waters

in case I grow up

and change my mind

 

with a promise

to complete my metamorphosis 

very quietly

so as not to disturb

 

those reading freshly cut,

immaculate poems.

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/21/22

Reviews

[Patricia]

who wants to grow up completely? if we do, we don't adapt as well in my opinion, haven't you ever noticed how well kids adapt to changing situations, I think there is something in that we should take to heart, maybe? then maybe our poems will always be fresh and immaculate

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, they are much more adaptable than we are...
j.

[John the Baptist]

It seems every generation wants to outdo its predecessors. I am not sure who designates what constitutes "freshly cut, immaculate poems," but they may rest assured their works will be considered old hat by their successors.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, John, I appreciate your words.

j.

[Murugan Appa Ponappan]

Once again a very fine poem to read. Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Rania,
j.

[M. J. Smith]

In case I grow up and change my mind...
Mine was a generation of big hair and bigger attitude. We didn't just tell you our thoughts. We screamed them in your face. Our music and poems reflected that.
We Are the World was huge. When the Children Cry broke millions of hearts. The honesty of Fast Car showed how we lived with poverty.
What happened to us, Jacob? Why did we go silent? Did we ever really care? These are the questions you make me think about. Your generation, now fading, still cares. But mine has become a dead coal in the ashes of a cold fire pit. Never stop speaking, my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am not sure what happened to us...I know I really cared and still do....but something got lost somewhere.
thank you for your understanding words, M.J,
j.

[Aluppi Jampur]

I read this as both resisting and embracing change.
Check line one of 2nd stanza?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for catching my typo, I am usually better than that....
thanks for the read and theory.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

The view from outside the window is one of chaos. That is our world today as the burst pipes of petulance savage the landscape where they have trespassed. I find I am reflecting on my happy childhood days more and more, where I felt safe and secure. I would rather have that innocence back. I sense you would too J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I would too....you are so right, Chris,
Thank you,
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

I truly never get tired of reading your work. It’s always new and interesting and has so many great lines. There’s so much obvious brilliance in this one. The title was such a great idea and the feeling to this poem and the words, the descriptions are just perfect. ‘In case I grow up, and change my mind’. There’s just something about this poem and so much more of your work just has this wonderful feeling to it, the obvious passion, the words used. Thank you so much for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your very kind review, Vertigo.
j.