Role Models

Role Models

 

 

pristine child

tarnished

by what adults do

 

a summation of utterances

revelations of discomfort

parents with free souls

guilty, but with impunity

to the likeness of their own being

 

pristine child

tarnished

by fear

by trespass

 

a bed of guilt, but not with impunity

there is no lighter sentence

the verbs are all bad

the adjectives abominable

 

pristine child

tarnished

by what adults do

 

becomes an adult.

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/31/22

Reviews

[Holly Mason]

I am 5ish , she comes the biological mother. ( I never met my father ) I have a brother or two. She is not ok . She is drunk . She makes bad choices . I learned early , walk alone and walk with God . He fathers the fatherless . I am 14 ish , I found 17th century English poetry …I found my peace in the same place I found myself. I work hard to this day to stop the cycle. So I never learned to ride a bike. Cycle has stopped , I hope so for my brothers as well . Thank you for sharing and for listening . Holly

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am really sorry that you relate so well to this, Holly...but glad you found peace.
j.

[Katarina]

I think we live in world that repeats cycles of pain and trauma until someone is brave enough to end that cycle. this poem speaks to that for me, and what once was an innocent child, now has a responsibility to not tarnish their own children. Very well written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we don't learn, just recycle the violence in one form or another....thank you for your understanding words , Katarina.
j.

[Eilis]

The guilty often blame the ones they hurt for the hurt they suffer under. It is a tactic of abusers and neglecters alike. The train of ancestry growing longer and longer—the only hope seems to be someone uncoupling their car and taking a different route. Fortunately we are adaptable creatures. Some of us bear the hurts better than others. Some are lost forever. The tragedy of so many. This is such a measured and lucid depiction of the ways we are careless and harmful with each other. Your tone makes the poem stronger imo because you leave it to the reader to find their passion about the subject. Excellent work as always, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful response, Eilis.
It just has to stop.
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

The cycle sucks! Sucks 'em in. They tarnish. Then the tarnished by the cycle, spit us out. Abominable adjectives caught my mind. We'll have to start making up new ones to describe levels of outrage not yet expressed. Well expressed Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Bill,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I’ve often wondered whether it’s the genes that maketh the the man or the circumstances
Yes a bit of both
Great poem made me think 🤔

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I would say yes to a bit of both....
thank you, Julie,'
j.

[Robert Trakofler]

wow this one really made me ponder... the prerequisites start from home and then flourish many years and places later... dont they:/

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Brother bunny....
j.

[Patricia]

I think Betty said it all, I am with her on this and coming from messed up parents this hits home. Excellent writing, well chosen strong words. My advice if you had messed up parents....do the opposite of what they did, good place to start and take parenting classes and don't have children just to feel loved because they don't return it on day one and in fact it takes a while before they can express it, they have needs, love comes later. learn to love yourself first and then you can love others in a healthy way. Love this j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

just makes us wonder why so many become parents who never should...but then unplanned pregnancies can run rampant...and then there they are.
thank you for your insightful words, Patricia,
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Parents, whether they like it or not, are role models for their kids. Sometimes it's good, sometimes its a disaster. In this case it seems that there parents are not setting a good example for the kid....the child has been tarnished and controlled by the parents behavior; which makes the kid feel guilt, unloved, maybe neglected, fearful, the parents seem like free souls, no direction for the kid, but no impunity either. a child can be tarnished forever, and that child will grow into an adult just like her disturbed parents.
Best, B

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Some parents are still children themselves...doesn't make for a good role model.
thank you, Betty.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

You're welcome J.
B

[W.k.kortas]

The tightness of the construction and the control of tone exhibited in this piece is admirable--it's a subject where it would very easy to go off the rails, but this never comes close to doing so. Fine, fine stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, W.k.
j.

[Lisasview]

Good morning dear Jacob,
Ahh, yes role models...so important to have good role models but that just dose't always happen.
Most parents do the best they can taking what they have learned from their parents and so the cycle goes..on and on..
And, sometimes...a teacher, a neighbourhood adult, etc. happens to be around just at the right time to change the course of a childs life...in put that life in the right direction.
How lucky that child is...
Lisa, now early in Spain

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, others can be positive influences on the children, especially if they have a not-so-kind home environment.
thank you, Lisa,
j.

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome..
Lisa, getting late in Spain