scratch the page numbers, don't need them

scratch the page numbers, don't need them

moonlit words

mounting adjectives

superfluous sounds

"please shut up"

she pleaded

her lips begging

for mine to be mum

her hand approached my shoulder

"I should have read the 'how to'

manual' ''

my mind suddenly taught me

but I kept talking

as her hand got closer

quickly, I went into action,

took out my pen,

wrote some passionate words

placed them in her hand

my shoulder nearly breeched

my heart writing a mile a minute

damn moon

I kissed her 

with my poem.

now the adverbs were mounting

if only the pronouns hadn't been

so personal.

I could have saved her in my

notebook.

erin-cilberto

6/16/22

Reviews

[redd Brick Keshner]

Alas, all these scribblings are now out of reach. This is very relatable, j. And we continue to jot down however fast of slow in that moment. Thank you for sharing this deliciously convoluted verse. /Frederick.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I love the oxymoron,
"deliciously convoluted"
thanks, Frederick...for your visit and the smile.
j.

[redd Brick Keshner]

Most welcome, j. I may not have any oxen and possibly stock a bit of moronic but language is definitely a convivial mistress. Cheers, Frederick.

[andrew mitchell]

Complex creatures women to the simplicity of man so a notebook would come in handy. You really have to listen for they are so good at metaphors, disguising how they really feel and reading between the lines. Superb writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, andrew,
j.

[Temperance]

“I could have saved her in my notebook”. How many times have we written something great, in our own mind’s eye, and not saved it? You have a way with words dear Jacob. Temp

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and I have saved a lot of those notebooks...always thinking I might find something worth resurrecting...
but who knows...
thank you, Temp,
j.

[LJ]

I like this. It also makes me wish someone special was here right now, so I could kiss them with adjectives, adverbs and pronouns. Very clever and well done. A writer has a learning curve... we all differ on it, but we do learn when to stop writing and experience life. You wrote a really fine bunch of words to celebrate the times we don't need them. Thank you!
LJ

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I hope you get to kiss those parts of speech, LJ.
maybe your sentence would be a happy one.read moreI hope you get to kiss those parts of speech, LJ.
maybe your sentence would be a happy one.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I smiled. There is a time to keep quiet and put your pen down and make love with your lips and not your words :) There was humour here J and I enjoyed it. Great reading.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words...yes, I should keep quiet more often.
j.

[redzone]

ah, those notebooks.... filled with all the verbs, adverbs, nouns, similies and of course metaphors.... filled with HER and the way she touched you, no matter how hard you threw those adverbs.... LOVE, that goddess we kill with our poetry, still lives and affects our heart, and there are not enough adverbs, nouns, adjectives to stop HER... she haunts us always, even if we skip the page numbers...

pretty cool poem Jacob....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I get haunted...just trying to understand things I am not good at understanding.
thank you, Curt,
j.

[Ranger Kessel]

You are the best jacob. As always in appreciate this

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ranger,
j.

[Ranger Kessel]

Your welcome

[Einstein Noodle]

damn my friend ... what a ride to read this ... i wrote one poem to a woman (of my dreams) at the end it simply said "Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me" ... nothing was saved in my notebook ... actually, at the time i did not keep one ... ohhhhhhhh how i loved her ... that sweet Irish Rose .. red headed to the heart .. miss her still ... the notebook of me head and heart ;) brilliant write says i! ... i am finding it hard to spend time here at the Cafe' ... so glad i did not miss any of this .. to many things speak to me to mention .. well done sir .. in my humble opinion of course! ;)
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

did she kiss you?
Are you Okay? You said it is hard to spend time here.
thank you for your kind words, E.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

she did actually ;))))))))))) and what a kiss that was for me anyway .. yes! i am fine .. time constraints and i am sleeping later these days ...

[garticphone]

Your inspiration it is very inspirational, I read it and it is touching and inspiring.
https://gartic-phone.io/

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you,
j.

[Andrew John]

A quite amusing ending beginning with moonlit words - and kissing with a poem! Well! Love that!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Andrew,
j.