Lesson on Forbidden Parts of Speech

Lesson on Forbidden Parts of Speech

 

 

something palpable

that I cannot wrap my heart around

intangible in the most concrete of terms

 

love, a myriad of warts on rough skin

or a loose freckle on a bed of tan 

where fingers roam

 

a bit of a cool breeze

when your words abrasively send me away

or a soliloquy as I converse

with the ghost of who you were to me

when our karma touched

and entangled

 

and enthralled

engaged in clarity

that happily confused us with feelings

 

we did not want to parse 

like a diagrammed sentence

with a dangling participle

that came between us.

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/20/22

Reviews

[Patricia Wedel]

Diagraming a love entanglement is a silhouette of two or more who were confused and abused until the twelfth of Never… Amen

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, dear Poet!
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Third stanza is some really fine writing Jacob.
And fourth as well. All are good but those two are standouts.
W

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Winston,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Oh, that second stanza just sent a tremble. How delightful that loose freckle is. This is one gorgeous poem but that dangling participle does get in the way. Fabulous J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Chris,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

"with the ghost of who you were to me

when our karma touched

and entangled



and enthralled"

[Sami Khalil]

You are amazing Jacob even in teaching words, phrases, metaphors and more...You do any relationship justice with its ups and downs. Your mind is alive and well to excel.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Sami,
j.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome sir Jacob.

[Lydia Shutter]

Love the figures of speech in this. This one is so romantic....filled with longing and desire for that one freckle your fingers still want to roam around. Damn that dangling participle! :) Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi,
j.

[redzone]

as our friend Sami would say, "WOW".... I am in love with this poem (yes even the dangling participle), Jacob.... maybe because it touches so close to home; or maybe because of how you hung metaphors like a fresh oil painting, or perhaps because of how it made me feel.... I read lots of poetry, but every now and then I come across a poem that just grabs me and won't let go and I want to touch that, "loose freckle on a bed of tan skin where fingers roam" (what a great line this is)...

not sure if you can tell, Jacob, but this poem is one of my favorites from you...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I really appreciate that, Curt...
you are kind,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

You take me back to the Fifties when for four years we Diagrammed sentences for our English teacher who also taught English Literature… preparing me to understand your Poetry in the Year 2022. Those dangling participles can be a problem. gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the nuns had us doing that in the fifties as well...
I actually enjoyed doing that...good for knowing the geography of words in a sentence...don't teach that anymore.
it is Greek to my students ....
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

My atest comment above is a reflection of teaching Confusion in Grade School to innocent minds. Children need to grow up Carefree and learn to Play Fair and to be Kind.