to aptly title this poem

to aptly title this poem

don't touch my split infinitive

it is too badly burned

and the heat will verb you

over 80 percent of the body

you think you own

maybe your mind had adjectives 

to aptly describe its prowess

to poorly invent poetry

over 80 percent of the page

you think you own

I want to mostly love you

but you insinuate your arrogance

into the heart of us

and I need to sadly reinvent ourselves

over 80 percent of my rage

you think you own

you don't need to severely surmise

you own my infinitives now

even if we do split.

erin-cilberto

9/1/22

Reviews

[Light and ashes]

Every now and then I struggle with content on here, because of my poor or lack of an education. I had to look up the word, "infintive," but I still felt this, especially, "over eighty percent you think you own."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, light...
j.

[Light and ashes]

You are very welcome.

[John the Baptist]

As I now understand it, the split infinitive is no longer the English equivalent of the unforgivable sin. After all, the starship Enterprise's mission was "to boldly go.....". However, hogging 80% of the page will never be deemed acceptable. Ditto rage. Maybe splitting is best here, infinitives be damned.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you make me chuckle, John....thanks for that.
j.

[Pryde Foltz]

Very clever concept piece with significant emotional impact. A Eureka poem if ever there was one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Pryde,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

You think you own, mentioned three times. I do believe this is a farewell if I am not mistaken and in the circumstances I am not surprised if arrogance has played a part. So very well delivered J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your understanding review, Chris,
j.

[Ken e Bujold]

brilliant bit of grammatical wordplay Jacob. I think I may need to memorize the ending for the next time a relationship ends badly because it is the most poetic goodbye I've seen. Jealous it's not my own

Ken e

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ken... maybe I will go into the business of selling goodbyes...I have had enough experience with them.
j.

[red93]

Excellent again JE-C and the powerful diction and phrasing carry this piece along masterfully.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, red,
j.

[Stella Armour]

Burning with rage, or is it burning love that can't be reconciled ?

Conceit is not attractive ...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Nope, it is definitely ugly...thank you, Stella,
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

I'm always amazed at your apparent ease with words, how thoughts flow one into another, whereas with me it always feels as if a battle were being waged to find a way to say something, anything, relevant.
Well done, friend,
Winston

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am just lucky to be a conduit, Winston....
I feel like it is not talent on my part but the words coming to me out of air...and I appreciate getting to write.
thank you for your kind words,
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

I can relate. Happens on occasion. Not frequently enough for my liking but I should be grateful for table scraps.
Winston