Congratulations

Congratulations

 

 

 

run off

salty water

tear ducts

polluted

detriment sentiment

sediment meant

 

to erase the trace

of your face

from the color slide

stuck in the back of my mind

lit up

with eternal batteries

and lingering flickers

 

in reverie

the taps

the light

the vision

and all the naysayers'

 

Argus stare

at where

my heart was developed

enveloped

a photographic revision

derision

collision

with love

that caused a leakage

a wreckage

a sentiment meant

to be detriment sediment

 

if only the colors weren't so sharp

a stabbing pain

the blade

of you

when the night is still

the intrusion

the incision 

my oblivion 

your revelry.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/8/22

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Just wow J. Completely knocked out with this one. That blade, the sharpness and hurt really comes through. A masterclass here in love gone wrong. Great writing.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you again for your words, Chris,
j.

[softlyfall]

The weave of sounds is so beguiling that I had to read twice, I got lost in the sounds. Which, by the way, is my favorite thing about poetry- words as music.
I love this one.
I know it is supposed to be sad but its just so damn good it makes me smile

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, softly,
And I am glad you smiled.
j.