they become people

they become people

my toes touched the water

and I screamed

retracted

enacted a terror in my mind

some cold prison

no key

no parole

and I was only five

the ocean and I became bitter enemies

even though I was too young to understand

then

in later years, enemies were understood

I became adult

the forensics of that terror solved

it was a fear on the lam

my toes embraced

but my heart

wound up in a more severe prison

and I could not wake up

nor stop screaming.

erin-cilberto

10/22/22

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

The coping skills of a five year old
are far from being developed ..i
can remember being fearful of many
things at that age also ..we grow up
and we are; it seems, we're fearful perhaps
of dying as we age..and we're back to square
one just the same..nice ink my friend

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful review, Fran...always like reading your reactions to others' poems as well as reading your works.
I like where your mind goes.
j.

[Melinda McQueen]

I like what you did here.
You painted a picture out of inner depths.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Melinda,
j.

[Lisasview]

Interesting analogy of fear... when we are young and how we learn to finally coup with it and fear when we age and for some reason have no coping skills and so we wind up (quite often) with our hearts in a prison...
No way to wake up...
Anyway, that is what I felt when reading your poem dear Jacob...
There is always more than meets the surface in most well written poetry,
Lisa, still in Spain

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Lisa, thank you for your insightful words,
j.

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome..

[Chris Shaw]

At five the world is a huge place. The ocean and its moods can be frightening for a small child. I was terrified at that age by mickey mouse. I used to see his head on the bedroom wall at night in the half light. He terrified me. Of course I grew up as you did and we learn. However as adults there is plenty of stuff still to scare us. I can't watch a movie or TV programme that has violence in it. A flash of steel or a blade and it sends me running out the room prompto. Relatable words here J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

blades really bother me, too, much more than someone getting shot.
thank you for your understanding review, Chris,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob… I much prefer to fly with the Seagulls with their Wings of feathery Faith.. than to drown in the deep fathoms without Hope.. gently, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

me too, Pat, me too...
thank you for your gentle spirit,
j.

[John the Baptist]

The sea can indeed be a fearsome enemy, especially to a child encountering it for the first time. Something that vast and unknowable has to be dangerous! The last verse, though, suggests that other fears took the place of the ocean, and from these the recovery is yet incomplete.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, fears replace fears replace fears...
thank you, John,
j.

[Pauline]

An intriguing write J.
Pauline.

[Light and ashes]

DAMN, such a fear of water!
How awful!
I am guessing you almost drowned when you were five?
So did I, and so did Wesley.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

just a bad chill...but for you, much more drastic...glad you survived...
j.

[Light and ashes]

me too.....lol.

[Lorry]

We grow with learning and age, but when we are young, there is little room for rational thought when terror strikes.
Fast forward to adulthood and any memory of that brings that terror to mind long before sense slaps us down from hysteria to a slight panic.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really strong insight, Lorry,
thanks

[Betty Hermelee]

Was this a macabre nightmare? Or was it a trigger
for a bitter memory of a loved one in prison who you began to learn later in life that we are all “ people” no matter how atrocious our circumstances were/ are…..or was it someone who drown in frigid water (trapped like a prison) and that cold water on your toes reminded you of that frightful event, until later in life you and the ocean could come to terms with this……so many possibilities…..great poem J.
Best, B

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your review, B,
j.