Noon

Noon

a box lunch

swiftly disappears

with words outside of it

contradicting life's buoyancy

the metal rusts

poems wrapped in saran serenade

but become stale and moldy

the bell indicates it is time

for the poet to go back to work

he has shared some of his lines

too many for him to digest

the other poet is grateful

but begins to steal from the box

each day

the poet of nobility

starves

the plagiarized writer

is fired from his own script

he relives the betrayal

every day but his pen remains silent

life slips under the surface

his words can no longer hold their breath

they are found days later

too decomposed to recognize

but consciences hover

above

guilty clouds approach reproach

and the rain finds its mark.

erin-cilberto

11/17/23

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Some work so hard to ensure their works are original and some don't care ... they jump on a phrase and ride it until the poor thing drops from exhaustion. AI will be the bane of all and is not to be trusted. All we can do is keep plugging away ... word by word by word.
Think of George Harrison being charged with "stealing from the Chiffons' for "My Sweet Lord" his only dedfence was unconscious plagarism.

Fight on j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

And I do believe it was not only unconscious, there are so few chords...not sure I ever agreed with that lawsuit. What about John Lennon's song "And so this is Christmas"? How close is that melody to the song "And Stewball was a Racehorse" by Peter, Paul and Mary.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

And Harrison certainly made more of that tune than the original...

[QuietOptimism]

Wow, I love the metaphor of words that can rot and degrade! I think the themes of plagiarism could be aptly applied to current day's crisis with generative AI. Great work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, and what a crisis it is, especially for writing teachers. Thank you, Quiet.
j.

[Starbaby]

Much to love here. I'm oddly reminded of the old Gary Cooper movie High Noon. If it comes to a showdown between poets, I know who my money is on.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I love that movie..and Grace Kelly was so perfect in her role...as she always was...Gary was my favorite actor...as he would say, 'Well, I think that's just dandy."
Thank you, SB...

[DIVYA]

I read spellbound. A breathtaking poem, my friend. I loved these lines:

"he relives the betrayal
every day but his pen remains silent
life slips under the surface
his words can no longer hold their breath"

Such emotion breathed into words....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words, Divya,
j.

[Julian]

ZOUNDS!!!!!! Just when I think I have found enough words to at least begin praising your work, you complete another work which overshadows all the others I have read thus far! In fact - I must stop for the moment and try to think of ways to express my admiration for this piece. And no, I am not, as we used to say, blowing smoke- this is really that impressive!!! I do not know if you have yet had any of your work published but I do think it would be a blessing to many of us, if you did so, And I will pre order an early copy if you do!!
( Or will i> CAN you :pre order: something, or, when you place the order, is it simply :ordered:? The paradoxes, or even single doxes, that keep me awake at night!)

[Chris Shaw]

I doubt he will tell you himself because he is incredibly modest, but I have no hesitation. Jacob has published 22/23 poetry books. You have plenty to choose from. Go google.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Julian,
and thanks, Chris...
j.

[Julian]

Now that I have seen his many works, and see that he is truly a world class author and poet, I feel a bit foolish, rather like I had encountered Michelangelo ( the artist and sculptor, not the ninja turtle) and patted him on the back and said, Hey, you do nice work, keep it up and you will be famous one day.

[Starbaby]

OMG, Julian, you just made me snort coffee out my nose.

[Julian]

I DO have that effect on people sometimes, which is why I am seldom invited to gatherings at coffee shops.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Julian,
Not world class, just a blue collar poet trying to make my way...and comments are always helpful...poetry can be so hit and miss...how do we know if anything works unless it is tested by many eyes.
Your comments are quite helpful, actually...we can all get better...always room for improvement.
Thanks for your kind words,
j.

[Julian]

A thousand thanks to you, and I JUST received the first order of one of your books, and it is phenomenal... and as an old guy who was there in the 60s and beyond, it is already ringing so many memory bells.....and yes, I insist on 'world class"...