inebriated pens and unfinished poems

inebriated pens and unfinished poems

 

 

 

 

the poet's complexity

is a standing-room only crowd

of withering thoughts

Creativity was the theme of the cocktail party

 

but the drunks fell over their own versions

of life

the phrasing tipsy

Rhymes argued

there was uncomfortable silence

 

dramatic pause

empirical loneliness

the silent drive home

 

the poem never quite made it

and the pen behind the wheel

didn't survive the crash.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/17/24

Reviews

[Michael Sun Bear]

What a delight! I love it when I come across a piece of writing that, for me at least, feels completely unique yet true, not cluttered with overreaching fancy words. This is going in my favorites library. Thank you for your contribution.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, Michael.
j.

[emmajoygreen]

Clever wording, tragic finish but surely the interim shows what partying can do to players who think they can write. Pehaps?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I often think I kid myself when I look at my pieces...it gets me insane...we want so badly to write that one poem that will make our name....and some of us just keep trying over and over and over again.
j.

[emmajoygreen]

ERIN-CILBERTO, JACOB, SIR - straight but fond talking: whatever you write inspires and impresses non-stop, And no, you're not allowed to argue, ejg has spoken ! :)

[Everett Dulin]

The news will cover it anyways. The crash could be good press, with a good PR team anything can be art.

-C

[jacob erin-cilberto]

So true, Everett,
thank you,
j.

[redzone]

"the poet's complexity", what a great opening line. too many uncooperative words, drunk with thinking they are more important than any other word. and the pen, drinking in all the BS never gets to touch the paper and either dies from lack of ink, or gets thrown against the wall of frustration. but I love your ending better Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Curt,
j.

[Lorry]

Are these instructions of how not to have a cocktail party, because I've done them all, at every party they're silly enough to keep inviting me too!
😃

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I used to really hate them....
if you have to keep being invited...make the most of them I guess....
thanks, Lorry,
j.

[Ken Simm.]

I gave up drinking because a less painful life was important. I gave up going to parties because I am deaf and I couldn't hear what was said to me. And I gave up reciting because I am old and I can't dance. I also am too weak to escape critics.This is so true and I believe it. I also like it very much and a review should not be about the writer of that review.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I love it...thank you for this review, Ken.
Yes, it should not be about the reviewer but the poem itself.
j.

[John the Baptist]

A cocktail party is the backdrop for a poem that didn't pass the final test. The rhymes and phrasing got loaded and the result was silence. Not only frustrating, but sad, as the pen didn't survive the drive home. I imagine Fitzgerald and Faulkner had similar writing experiences.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Especially Faulkner...
thank you, John,
j.

[Sapphus]

Feels a lot like me talking about myself.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

We are a pair, then,
j.

[Vol]

True... makes you wonder about Bukowski, though. I don't think his drunken parties would have been any fun, but some damn fine poetry staggered out of them...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I would never have attended one of his parties...he is my least favorite writer.
Woman beaters are not my cup of tea, no matter how they write.
But I know He is quite popular....so I probably wouldn't be invited to his party anyway.
j.

[Vol]

Yu are right... He was a most despicable human...

[carl]

I always enjoy reading your work, but truth be told ( oh no not the truth ) I find great enjoyment in reading but often fear I am missing the point ( which makes me thing of a Shel Silverstein poem - Point of View ) perhaps I am not seeing it from the poem's point of view. Your use of metaphor ( those are metaphors, right?) is amazing. as I said always enjoyed - carl

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, always metaphors...seems it is how I think.
But you are never missing the point reading my poems...you are the reader, they belong to you and whatever you see...that works for me...
thanks,
j.